I feel a little bugged by things today. Little, unimportant things. I remember when I was pregnant with D, and extremely neurotic with it, everything bothered me to a huge extent. God forbid someone did something to piss me off. This time I've been mostly the opposite, calm and relaxed, not really having time nor energy to get pissed off with things which are not important (plenty of 'real' things to worry about without needing others!). Sometimes, though, stupid things sneak into my brain and wind me up, and today is one of those days. Maybe I'm just tired!
Someone posted on a BBS I visit, this morning, about their mother - their story was eerily similar to mine. They were asking for advice, I only wish I could give some! There's no easy way to deal with the feelings of rejection from a parent, especially when you've just become / about to become a parent yourself. The thing I find most hurtful I think, is that now that I have a child of my own (and another on the way - incase anyone didn't know) I know what that parent-child bond is, or should be. I have such a strong overwhelming love for my son that I cannot imagine ever turning my back on him... and knowing that is one of the reasons it's so hard to accept that my own parent doesn't feel that way about me. Still, I think I've come a long way in my acceptance of it over the last few months, and at the end of the day I suspect that I'll never be completely happy about the situation, but if I can accept it, that's the main thing.
Posted by katie at June 3, 2004 02:20 PMHang on a sec - you said you're having a baby? And all this time I've been wondering why your blog had such a weird URL! Now it all makes sense.
Posted by: Steve at June 3, 2004 05:36 PM