Thanks for the few bits of advice.
I'm still not convinced. I think he might be a bit young to let scream for too long. He's only 4 months old, he's still little. He's too young to be particularly manipulative at this age. He screams because he wants his mummy and is upset. If he gives up it's because he's exhausted himself and can't cry any more and gives up on his mummy coming to him, which doesn't sit too well with me :-( Maybe if he's still doing at 6 mths old I should leave him scream, but meanwhile try to fix the problem rather than be too rigid.
What I'm now considering may be the problem is that he gets up too late in the morning and therefore is not tired until later in the evening. He doesn't usually wake until between 9 and 10am, and I think he ought to get up around 7 so that he is tired at bed time and not later at night. Going to attempt to get up early (bah) with him the next few days and see if it improves things.
Last night G was out so I tried to put him down but when he started to cry I had to get him as I'm not strong enough alone to listen to him and not get horribly upset myself. He ended up being downstairs until 10 when he got grizzly so I put him back to bed where he screamed for 15 mins then went to sleep soundly, so that wasn't too bad, but urgh, so stressful. Wish this situation would fix itself :-(
Posted by katie at November 24, 2004 05:47 PMWhen we did 'controlled crying' (as it is called here) it almost broke my heart. I went to classes at my doctors’ surgery to learn how to do it and the best thing that I learnt was to keep a diary. I wrote down what I did with him (it was Xander - Immie was just left to get on with it) right from the end of his afternoon nap. This meant that when he made it through the night I could keep with the routine that worked and not waver from it. I was told (and it is true) that once they have slept through the night without waking at silly hours, then they have proved that they can do it. There is no reason why they can not do it again.
It is harsh, but you just have to busy yourself with something else. I used to go and do the washing up and then the clothes washing because they were things that I hated and because I was concentrating on listening to the crying, the chores got done without my noticing!
I started Immie at 4 months and Xander at about 7 because I didn’t know how to do it then. Good luck, and keep us all posted!
Unlike those of us who have previously commented on the screaming, boo has practical experience and probably knows the subject much better than Aka and I do :-)
I'm sure you'll sort out how to handle it and H will turn out just fine. The situation will fix itself sometime in the next 20 or 30 years :-)
Posted by: Steve at November 26, 2004 01:41 PMDefinitely... I don't scream when I go to bed myself any more; I sulk, but that's another story ;)
Posted by: Aka at November 27, 2004 04:51 AMHiya,
Question from a non-parent - yet! Although, it's not for want of trying. LOL.
I was wondering, what time is bedtime? And how much time should they sleep through the night? My italian friends' babies seem to stay up until all hours and they don't have this kids in bed at 7-8 timetable popular in the UK.
Posted by: Louise at November 28, 2004 05:38 AM