babyblog

Neil wrote his house off

I had to laugh yesterday at Neils photos of his house after reversing his car into it at high speed. Obviously I'm glad he's OK but what a classic.

I showed my dad, which prompted an email to Neil and I worth repeating here.

I had a Renault 8 automatic. Smashing car. The throttle started sticking so I took it to a repair place near where I worked in Derby.
About six hours later Mick, the owner, rang me at work.
“I've written your car off Bob.”
“Ho ho very funny.”
“No it's not - I got my face smashed up in the crash and I'm just back home from hospital. You better come round.”
So I got a cab to Mick's house. He was stitched and bandaged and bruised and he poured me a pint of home brew and told me what had happened.
He'd started my car to move it into his garage and the engine was coughing and spluttering a bit. So he floored the accelerator and the cable stuck. The car shot forward and he couldn't think what to do in time to stop it hitting a railway bridge. Fortunately he wasn't badly hurt but the Renault was.
“So what happens now?”
He poured me another pint of home brew.
“I'll lend you a car for a few days while I get the money together to pay you off for the other one.”
“OK. This beer's very strong.”
“Drink up and I'll take you round the back and you can choose one of my other cars to borrow.”
We stood up and had to hold on to each other to stop falling over.
“Bloody hell we're pissed. I must have poured us the barley wine instead of the bitter!”
We reeled out to his back yard and there, among a few ordinary cars, was a 1957 Chevrolet Impala coupe. Twent five feet long, eight feet wide, white sidewall tyres, white vinyl roof and fins to die for.
“Thatsh the car of my dreamsh - I'll take that one,” I said drunkenly.
I drove it home - at about six miles an hour and five miles to the gallon. It was so wide I daren't take it down the drive so I proudly left it out front of the house for all to admire.
I walked in beaming.
Katie's Mum said “what's that out there?”
“Itsh our new car - ishn't it fantashtic?”
“If you think I'm travelling anywhere in that monstrosity you're mistaken,” she said.
Next day I swapped it for a Ford Anglia. Sigh....