babyblog

Old Age

I've been going out alot in the evenings recently. Alot. At least twice a week if not more. Sometimes with G and sometimes with girlfriends, our social life has taken off in a big way.

I was until last week beating myself up a bit about it too because I've been so tired as a result! Often it'd be a Wednesday night and I'd be due to meet friends in town and thinking 'I'd really like to stay at home and relax & watch TV' then berating myself for being dull. Or leaving early because I'm so tired and then feeling bad for doing so.

I had thought it was the anti-social gene in me finally coming through but then I had something of an epiphany when I realised that I am not, infact, antisocial but ..... 34!! I can't do the going out every night thing that I used to do at 24, I'm older and my body can't take it. I'm also a mother of 2 small kids who keep me on my toes & get me up early every morning without leaving me much opportunity to rest other than the evenings, so I think I have to be a bit less hard on myself about what I should be doing socially.

On the other hand, isn't that depressing? To be getting that much older that I can't go out clubbing it every night? Even though I don't want to, I want the option goddamnit.

I was also driving home on Saturday night and saw some blue flashing lights and instinctively hit the brakes and looked down at my speedo, my reflexes automatically thinking 'shit, am I going to get caught' when I realised that I was actually driving at the speed limit anyway. I'm definitely getting old.

On top of that I've got loads of grey hairs coming through. And my body just doesn't work as well as it used to.

God, I hate getting old.