I'm beginning to feel nervous about the reality of having 3 children. 3 CHILDREN. THREE. That's alot of children. That's more children than adults.
When Dylan came along we enjoyed our lifestyle as we had before, it's quite easy to bring a small baby everywhere you go. We certainly didn't stop doing things we'd previously enjoyed, if anything we enjoyed them more with him in tow. The difference between having one child and two children, however, is quite significant. Not in the early days..... when they're tiny they are very portable... but Harry is a totally different personality and just with two examples.....going out to eat or travelling has become much more challenging.
Harry is somewhat typical of a 2nd child in that he's more feisty, less sensitive, far more 'into everything' than his brother ever was. The whole 'sit still' thing doesn't work with him, he is permanently on the go. THe's utterly delightful, but aking him anywhere is quite challenging and exhausting at this point - especially being 7.5 months pregnant! But the point is, it's more work with 2 than it was with 1. Going out to eat, something we did without thinking, now has to be considered depending on where we are planning to go, Harry's mood, etc. I know he's only 2 and a half, which explains his behaviour right now, and it will improve, but it's quite astonishing to see the difference between the two boys and I hold up my hand to ever thinking I did a good job with Dylan and thus avoided much of the terribleness of the two's..... it just depends on the child.
So what on earth is it going to be like with 3? Am I ever going to have any time to myself ever again? Will the babysitter be OK with 3 kids so that G and I can at least go out and have a social life now & again? Will I ever be able to afford to fly to the UK again? Am I going to be permanently exhausted and unable to leave the house due to the logistics of coping with 3 kids? How will we travel - where on earth will we all sleep? Can we ever stay in a hotel again without having to bankrupt ourselves and book multiple bedrooms? Can we eat in a restaurant, and can we actually afford to eat in a restaurant when there are 5 of us to pay for? Will we afford all the various clubs and after school activities that 3 children will require? How about Christmas presents? Birthdays? Yikes!
Of course some of these logistical issues that I"m afraid of won't be as bad as I fear. Dylan is that much older that he is really no trouble at all (although increasingly expensive when one takes him out), he doesn't run off in public, throw tantrums in the middle of stores, or stand on the seats in restaurants shouting at the neighbouring tables. He is polite and lovely and will be a big help with his siblings. Harry will get older and less manic and is very excited about the baby, kissing my stomach constantly and telling me that there is a baby in there. Of course, this baby will be lovely too and I shall love all 3 of them so much that the logistics will just fall into place...... and we are alot better off financially than many people so we'll be fine on that front too..... I'm just allowed to worry about these things :-P
Meanwhile, yesterday, we went to Pottery Barn Kids and bought some lovely things for the nursery. Some artwork for the walls, a mobile for the crib and a little pink rabbit. Very cute. Also very cute at PBK was the fact that Harry had been asleep in the car and G carried him into the store thinking he would wake up - he didn't. We ended up lying him down on this little toddler bed that was on display and he had a good 45 mins nap in the middle of the store much to the amusement of shoppers who thought he was a cute prop.
Posted by katie at April 16, 2007 12:10 PMAhhh, these sound like my thoughts when I was expecting my 3rd. Now I look back and couldn't imagine our family with only 2 children. I think part of the reason I was so concerned while pregnant is I was picturing our family with 3 children as it was at that point in time. I tried to see beyond but it was so abstract.
Since then, my older children have matured *significantly.* I was worried how they'd adapt to a younger sibling. I thought my oldest would resent the intrusion since he was so much older. I thought the youngest (granted, he was almost 8, but is autistic) would have a difficult time. Instead, everything just fit.
Not that it's bunnies and roses all the time. There are moments when I feel that I must have been mad to have more than 2 kids. The noise level in the house is definitely higher. We can't afford to go back to Europe as frequently. (actually, we haven't been there since my daughter was born). Our finances are stretched - we can't afford the extras that we could before. Quitting my job only added to the strain All in all, though, the richness that my daughter added to my family makes it more than worth it.
Hopefully it will be this way for you in time too. You'll adapt - not always in ways that you may want to. But given a choice between your family the way it was and the way it will become, I think you will choose the latter.
Posted by: Lynanne at April 16, 2007 01:37 PMFirst things first... what's G doing??! That's his job worrying about this stuff, your job is cooking the baby :)
Next, dates... you're not 7.5 months pregnant, you might be 28 weeks but that's not even 7 (even though I bet you think it should be) work forward to being "9 months" on your due date and you'll be sure you're only 6.5 months! (It's a great optical illusion). A month is really 4.44 weeks long, so by the end of the pregnancy 9 x 4.44 = 40 weeks.
Now, as we're only our first kid I can't speak lots about having 3, but being one of the three and having three nephews and nieces (in total, not of each) have got some views.
It'll get lots easier once the baby get's mobile and able to interact with her brothers... Dylan will take a leader's role and will automatically act as your 2nd pair of eyes. Olivia (our eldest niece) takes charge of the other two, although they all tell tales on each other too :)
Mind you... they do get sent to bed at 7 so their parents can actual get *some* tiem to themselves!
But hey, as you know, you'll cope... people have for years! :)
Posted by: Aka at April 17, 2007 05:58 AM