So we're finally back in the US after nearly a month in the UK. Although terribly stressful and traumatic during the hospital stay, I appreciated having more time to spend with my family than originally planned and didn't really want to come back here by the end of the trip.
When you live thousands of miles away from your family and have small children, you really don't have any help with them to speak of. You learn to do everything yourselves. You don't get to go out for the day without your children, you don't get to go and spend the night anywhere leaving them with grandparents, you don't get a break, you are full on, 100% of the time, responsible for your kids. You can pay someone or ask a friend to watch them occasionally (we do this) but it's not the same as having people who really love them care for them. It is a discovery when I go home to learn that other people have this support network, most other people infact, and I envy it.
Because we live out here alone and do everything for ourselves, I also find it quite hard to relinquish control or ask for help with the kids. Even if someone else is holding one of them, or feeding one of them, I am usually on edge slightly and watching to make sure they're OK. Going home for a month and being able to relax and have other people do things for them, (for many days having no choice but to have other people care for them while we were in hospital!), I appreciate how much we miss out on that being so far away.
And the kids thrived, really thrived, having that attention and input from other adults in their lives.
What happened with Tab also makes me fearful to be so far away. What if that had happened over here? How would we have coped? We would not have had anyone to help with the boys or support us through the terrifying ordeal. "Thank goodness" we were in the UK when it happened.
I'm homesick. I wish we lived closer. I wish the kids had their grandparents, aunts, uncles, extended family, in their lives more.
Nothing I can do about it though. Best get on with it.
Posted by katie at January 27, 2008 11:52 AMBopster,
Thing to remember... the world is a smaller place nowadays; that doesn't mean I'll pop over to Redmond to babysit every other weekend (!) but you know, really, that if it had happened over there, if you did feel stuck, that your parents, or G's parents, or one of your friends, or god forbid... the whole travelling circus (that would be some party) would come over and help.
We all miss you, being over there, too... but it doesn't make us care any less, and if push came to shove came to "get on a plane now" I think you'd be surprised how many would.
Just not this week ;)
Posted by: Aka at January 27, 2008 03:10 PMJust try and keep me away!
We'd always be there if you needed us! X