With each child has come age, wisdom, and experience. And with each child I've become more & more 'natural' in my parenting style.
By natural (not implying other styles are unnatural!) I mean that I'm following a very hands on approach, in the US I think it's called "Attachment Parenting" ala Dr Sears.
I strongly believe in Breastfeeding and I'm increasingly a believer in doing so beyond the average of 6 months to ensure that they get that perfectly designed nutrition as long as possible. I plan on nursing Tabitha until at least 1 year and maybe even beyond - we'll see how that goes nearer the time. Harry I only managed 7 mths, Dylan only 3 weeks due to heath issues. This is not the easiest of breastfeeding situations with Tab's allergies to Milk and Soy proteins, but I am persevering and I feel a good sense of achievement for doing that.
I believe in delayed solids, the latest studies all show that babies only need breastmilk for the first year and anything else should be a learning process not a nutritional requirement. The later you leave it, the less likely the child is to develop diabetes and allergies - the former obviously being a major concern in our home as G is Diabetic and the latter because everyone seems to be allergic these days - allergies being on the rise. We waited until 6 months with both Harry & Tabitha -- with Dylan we didn't know better & he started at the then 'norm' of 3 months (gasping horror face).
I don't believe in letting babies cry - I believe in tending to whatever their needs are. I don't believe that they are manipulative in infancy, they just want to be close and to feel loved and if they're not feeling that way they will cry. Who am I to deny that of the baby I brought into the world.
We have had a tough time with sleep with Tabitha. I used to have some lofty sleep principles where the boys were concerned......very focussed on routine and sleeping in their beds through the night ASAP, strict nap schedule, etc. It's easy to have those principles when you have easy babies though!
Tabitha has not been an easy baby and the sleep thing has been getting to me. We have this insane routine of rocking, patting, cuddling, nursing, every night for long periods - repeated when she wakes for feeds. One thing I do now though is that I don't rush into making any decisions of how to 'handle' these types of things - something I used to do! I think about it more before I decide.
I started to wonder how one gets from this point a) where she is requiring all this help to get to sleep, to b) where I can put her down happy, the infamous "drowsy but awake" in her crib and she'll go to sleep by herself. The two methods seem so far apart that I could not get my head around how we might one day end up at this point.
In doing some research, reading & talking to other parents, I came to the realization that this little girl wants to be held close to feel loved & safe. It's partly her personality and partly a 'norm' for the age she is right now. Who am I to refuse that? I do not want to leave her to cry so that she gives up on me, that's not an option. Studies actually show that babies left to Cry It Out have elevated levels of cortisol in their brains (Stress Hormone) which lasts through their lifetimes! I realise that in a few months she won't need this, that you don't find 18 yr olds needing this type of help to get to sleep, that it will not be forever.....and that I should just give her what she needs, a sense of security and love.
Part of this is leading towards "co-sleeping", an idea which a few years ago would have been abhorrent to me, but an idea that makes more & more sense to me now. For one thing, I do believe that "whatever gets the most people the most sleep" is key, for another I'm tired of G going to the couch with her, but for the most part - when this little girl stirs, as all babies do regularly, and looks to see if someone is near..... if she senses us beside her she happily dozes back off. What better gift to give her than that sense of security.
So anyway, we've been putting her into her new room and crib at the beginning of the evening but as the night goes on she's been coming into us and sleeping very happily. Developmentally this is the worst sleep period and things should start to lengthen and improve as she gets older but I'm going to let that happen 'naturally' and not force it.
All I need to do now is start cloth -diapering. I'm not going to because frankly the amount of laundry required for 5 people is alarming enough without adding to it! I want to though.
Posted by katie at March 21, 2008 12:46 PM