the pain in my tummy hasn't got any worse, which is a good thing. it's still intermittent. hope (hope hope hope) it is something minor.
meanwhile the only real 'symptom' of pregnancy i have is that my boobs are sore, very sore. the heartburn has gone, so i'm thinking that was a one off. I'm not overly tired, and I don't feel sick. I do keep waking up at 4am or thereabouts and find it hard to get back to sleep, but that's because my back is sore, and also my mind is whirling with all this.
i guess it takes a little getting used to - being pregnant. i'm really battling with it. on the one hand i want to get used to it and accept it, but on the other i'm nervous about doing so for fear of it not working out. so i find myself coming to terms with it and accepting it in small ways, and then 5 mins later telling myself no, don't do that, which leaves me in some turmoil. it's also constantly on my mind and i find it hard to focus on anything else, hence the whirling thoughts keeping me awake.
all this and i'm not even 5 weeks yet. i need to get to a 'safe' point, i think, before i can believe and relax.
it's not going away, i'm quite nervous.... ectopic pregnancy or appedicitis.... i really hope and pray it is neither and nothing serious.
woke up at 4.30am with excrutiating heartburn and could not get back to sleep due to it continuing. when i was pregnant with dylan i had horrendous heartburn throughout the latter half of the pregnancy. but not at 4 weeks + 1 day! i read up online (cannot stop doing that) and apparently it's a common symptom of early pregnancy due to hormones racing around. blah.
Dr D was away so I saw another Doc at the surgery today. Wasn't too impressed by him, was a little feeble. He prescribed an over-the-counter medication for my infection which i'm not convinced will do much good, but he said he was unwilling to give me antibiotics due to pregnancy, which is fair enough. Told him about the discomfort on my right side and he had a feel. Said to leave it as it's not acute, but if it gets worse obviously go back or to the hospital. He thought it could even be appendix ! Yike!
today I have convinced myself that this is not going to go well, and that it is not going to work out. I've also broken one of my resolutions by spending the entire morning reading scary stuff on the internet and convinced myself I have a) ectopic pregnancy and b) an infection. Made an appointment with the DR tomorrow @ 9am.
So, how do I feel?
Excited and Nervous, basically. I had a miscarriage the last time we attempted this so I don't want to get my hopes up too soon. I'm not telling anyone until the 'danger period' is over. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If not, I need to try to be philosophical about it and that means not getting too excited yet.
It's funny as I am only 4 weeks pregnant as of yesterday, and yet I 'knew'. Well, I suspected. I'm pretty good at convincing myself I'm pregnant so I wasn't completely sure whether the sore boobs and tiredness were a result of my over-active imagination but I'm very happy that they're not!
G is really pleased too :-)
Some 'resolutions' which I need to follow.
1. I will eat properly.
2 I will not read the internet about every possible thing that could go wrong!
3. I will not eat chocolate.
4. I will either walk outside, or on the treadmill, every day.
5. I will take it easy for the first few weeks.
me: guess what?
g: what?
me: guess
g: errr... you're going out tonight?
me: no
g: you're pregnant?
me: YES!
g: OH MY GOD!!
well, err, it appears i might need this!
i am not going to start cracking open the champagne yet though, far too early in the day, but apparently aug 4 2004 might be a good day for us :-)