babyblog

More on that 3D u/s...

The 3D scan yesterday was a really lovely experience. Instead of that cold, medical, 'no husbands allowed' type officiousness they have at the hospital, we were treated to a large room with comfy chairs, a very nice friendly DR performing the scan, a large screen monitor directly opposite for us to view, classical music playing in the background, and overall a pleasant relaxed environment which wasn't rushed nor unpleasant in any way. Just the way it should be and worth every penny.

The baby treated us to a show of acrobatics for the next 30 mins, he's extremely lively! He wasn't too keen to show his face, unfortunately, he spent nearly all of the time with his hands and arms over his head, obviously a favourite position. He was lying acrossways in my tummy which I think is a change from more recently as movement for the last couple of days is now focussed somewhere around the middle of the bump instead of the lower part.

From there I went on to have my weekly massage which was, as usual, fabulous. I asked her to concentrate some more on my lower back which has been playing up as usual, and she did. Unfortunately it's now pretty sore and I had to take some Tylenol in the night to enable me to sleep as the pain was quite bad.

I forgot to say that I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. According to that link, cravings are kicking in, which is odd as I thought that you only got those early on, but absolutely accurate. Over the last few days I've found myself craving variously tomato'ish things, fried eggs and [sugar free, of course] chocolate Angel Delight. Hopefully these cravings don't get any weirder, or include anything sugary.

Now I must go and lie down. D is at school and I'm knackered as he woke me at 3.30am for an hour because he has a sniffle... blah.

Phew, he is still a he!!

The 3D Ultrasound today was fairly fantastic. We got to see so much of him. He is still a boy (phew!), and he is extremely active in there! He seems to favour his arms and hands over his face and head so it was very hard to get a good face shot of him, but from what we did see he has the same heart shaped chin as D, and will have the same chubby cheeks D had when he was born! Here's a still.... video to come later.

Breech?

I'm pretty convinced this baby spends most of his time in a breech position. All the kicking and movement I feel tends to be really low down, as if he's standing upright and stamping on my cervix (too much info, sorry). I don't suppose it matters in the general scale of things seeing as I'm having a c-section anyways, but it's a little uncomfortable. Still, plenty of time for him to move.

Tomorrow we have the 3D/4D Ultrasound which I'm really looking forward to. I've been having minor panics that they might tell us we're having a girl instead, I *really* hope they do not!! I'm so excited about a snuffly snuggly little boy that I will be fairly distraught if it turns out it's a girl. It's funny because G, who was more female inclined than I, said yesterday that he is completely focussed on having a little boy now and is overwhelmingly glad that we are. Let's hope the previous U/S tech was not wrong!

Little Boy's bedroom is currently painted white, and there's some lovely pine furniture being delivered soon. Paint needs a touch up so I'm debating whether to stay with the white (I have blue gingham crib linens etc) or go with a pale blue with white shutters / skirting boards etc. Not sure if a blue will be cold, but the room gets lots & lots of sunshine in the afternoon so I guess it won't? I hate thinking about painting, I end up procrastinating about it and not actually making a decision. It needs doing before the furniture arrives though!

G and I were talking yesterday about the lack of 'modern' dad's here in Canada that we've come across. Most fathers that we know here tend to have little to do with the day to day care of babies and would be quite horrified at the thought of looking after a baby for a day let alone changing a stinky nappy, cleaning up puke, or God forbid getting up in the middle of the night. Their lack of involvement starts right at the beginning, they don't go to any appointments or scans with their partner/wife, and generally leave it all up to the woman.

It's weird, as it's completely the opposite to friends & family back home, all of whom seem to have very equal relationships in terms of childcare. For example, G comes to all the major appointments with me, scans and whatnot. When the baby is born he'll be completely hands-on, he'll take the kids out alone, cope as well as me (sometimes better) in all areas, and for night feeds he'll get up too if only to change him after I feed.

I suppose primarily it's something he wants to be involved in and feels that he should be involved in (I agree wholeheartedly). Having children is something we are doing together and we're both equally responsible. Secondly, although he goes out to work and I stay at home to look after them, he recognises that my job is 24 x 7 and I don't get to go out each day, or leave work behind at the end of the day, or generally have an awful lot of 'me' time .....so when he is at home he and I both feel that he is there to relieve me (or join me) in my never ending role as primary carer. If I'm the one doing the night feeds (due to breastfeeding) then he'll get up and join me and help out because although he has work the next day, so do I! If, as was in D's case, we end up having to bottle feed, then for the most part he would get up and do the feeds to ensure I got some rest as ...any parent will agree.....looking after children is exhausting and the more tired you are the more your nerves end up fraught. G is also blessed with the ability to wake up, do something, and fall instantly back to sleep without it affecting him. Me on the other hand, will take at least 20 mins or so to relax again after being awake during the night!

Nightmare

Had a horrible dream last night that the hospital decided to perform a c-section NOW which is too early, and for no apparent reason. Then they took him away without my seeing him and said he might not survive. I hobbled in agony home where they said I had to go, then couldn't leave the house due to not being able to drive. When I finally got someone to agree to drive me there the hospital said I was a bad mother for not visiting sooner. He was beautiful and as soon as I got there he started to get better... until some horrid kids in the next bed started throwing teddy's at him. It was a really bizarre and horrid dream and I woke up feeling quite upset and out of sorts.

Yesterday I did some more maternity shopping, can't seem to stop buying things! I got a maternity belt which are apparently good for supporting your bump and after the c-section good for making your wound feel supported. I also got some new PJ's and 2 t-shirts. Oh, and a couple of very expensive enormous Bra's (F cup, Steve!) which fit comfortably and alarmingly well.

There's quite alot of other stuff we need to buy such as sterilizers, milk storage bags, baby swings, etc. I have a list but it's going to cost a bit. Maybe I'll 'register' for my "surprise" baby shower and then everyone else can buy the stuff for me! Meanwhile, back in the real world.....

D is off to a birthday party this afternoon so G and I are going to head down to Starbucks for a decent coffee and then do some grocery shopping... fun fun!

Hair

After much neglect I finally went and had my hair highlighted and cut yesterday. I'd had around 3 or 4 inches of growth since I last went and it was in a bit of a state. Anyway, 3 hours later I came out a couple hundred dollars the poorer, my hair looking human again, a bazillion different colours in it, and trimmed back up to my shoulders. I also made him promise that if I come in after the baby is born and ask for 'the mum cut', to refuse me. He gave me his word that he would, phew! Now I need my eyebrows waxed to complete the picture. I tried to pop in after my hair cut but they couldn't fit me in so I'm going back today.

Honk!

Spring is definitely arriving - I was woken early this morning by formations of Geese honking overhead as they flew in from pastures warmer.

I actually went on my treadmill yesterday afternoon. Only for 10 minutes, but it's better than nothing. I think my paranoia about blood clots made me do it, I felt the need to get my circulation moving. I'm going to try to go on it again today. I think I need to buy one of those maternity belt things though to support my stomach as I do it.

I also read yesterday that the belts are very useful after a c-section. I remember vividly that after I had D I felt nervous about getting up out of bed, my stomach felt very strange and heavy on the stitches and as though my stomach and intestines were going to fall out of the wound if I didn't move extremely carefully! Apparently these maternity belts allow you to feel supported so that you don't get that sensation so I think it'll be a good purchase. Might go to the mall this afternoon...

Meanwhile....

Is Spring finally here?

A very mild 12 degrees outside which after the long months of winter feels almost tropical. I am so desperate for good weather to finally arrive you can't imagine.

Slightly paranoid today about breathlessness. Yesterday when I went for my massage I walked quickly out of the car and up 3 flights of stairs to the massage clinic, and when I got there I was rather breathless for quite a while until I relaxed. This morning it came on as I was still lying in bed (about an hour ago) and is still with me. VERY mild, I must add. I hope it is pregnancy related (this article suggests it's very common) but I can't help but worry about another Pulmonary Embolism :-(

Another massage

I'm loving the weekly pre-natal massages. An hour of having all the knots and tensions removed from my back is totally blissful. I scheduled this one for the morning as D is still not back in Montessori school in the afternoons due to March Break, so it was more relaxing than last week when he had to join me and was a little distracting from my usual semi-concious state when being massaged!

Alot of people at my stage of pregnancy are reporting insomia. Touch wood I'm absolutely not getting that right now. If anything there are not enough hours in the day to sleep! I manage to get comfy at night by wedging the duvet under my stomach somehow and only wake with a need to visit the washroom occasionally. I can't praise the humidifier enough either, since buying it my nose and throat have become much less dry and congested. I'm not cured, but it's alot better.

Fragmin shots are going well, I'm doing them all myself now, I find it less traumatic funnily enough. I've gone from Mrs Needle Phobic who couldn't look as G plunged the syringe in, to preferring to be in control of it. I somehow know exactly where I need or need not to place it, so I rarely get the stabbing pains that I was getting before when we hit on, or close to, a prior injection site.

Going to see a friend this afternoon who has kids to see if I can borrow anything useful from her like giant stair gates (for our extra wide stair entrance) or similar.

Looking Lively!

This little boy has spent the last 18 hours or so doing non stop somersaults and kicks in my tummy. G felt lots of them last night, as did I. It's very nice to be able to feel him move around from the outside.

My giant laundry task of washing baby clothes is nearly done, thank goodness! I have also made a big list of things to buy for the baby and hopefully I didn't leave anything vital out! I have gone from feeling that I was slacking in the 'getting this prepared' department, to feeling that I've done far too much too early. Oh well, there's so much to think about that you can't be too prepared. If I at least get the major stuff out of the way now I will have plenty of time to worry about whether I have bought things like breast pads to catch leaking milk (yuk!).

21 Weeks

21 Weeks today. I think there comes a point in pregnancy where you go from being excited to be in the pregnant state and excited to see your body change and develop, to being a bit fed up by the discomfort of it all and wishing it were July already. I'm not there yet, but I can see it happening sometime in the next few weeks. It's amazing how much we forget. I swear there's some kind of insta-forget hormone circulated through a womans body shortly after giving birth which wipes all memory of the discomfort and pain associated with pregnancy. Being pregnant again with child #2 it is slowly coming back to me!

The furniture shopping expedition yesterday was successful. We went into Rona to enquire about fitting a closet into the nursery. The 'expert' was a little condescending and implied this was not a worthy question, but we managed to ascertain that which we already knew, which was that it would be hard to do (for G) and would probably require getting a man in if we wanted it done a) properly and b) this century. We then checked out a local store which yielded perfect results. We bought a gorgeous large pine wardrobe for the nursery which will look fabulous in there, and a beautiful chest of drawers for D's room.

I've also started to wash the piles of baby clothes (0-6mths) and after putting 3 billion babygrows into the washer remembered that you can't tumble dry them as even a small amount of shrinkage in clothes that tiny will render them useless. So now the house is strewn with clothes horses drying lots of teeny tiny clothes and it smells of baby too due to the non-bio / gentle detergent I used which instantly makes you think of small people.

Spendthrift

After sorting through 1 year's worth of baby clothes last night it seems clear that when D was born we had more money than sense! The pile of '0-3 month' clothes alone was almost as tall as I am, and I think the baby would have to put on at least 3 outfits each day in order to wear everything once. The '3-6 month' pile is even taller! Also the number of 'designer' outfits is absurd, tiny Ralph Lauren clothes, tiny Dior clothes, etc! I think I'm going to have to be a bit ruthless with some of it and discard it because there's simply too much there and I would rather get use out of the really nice stuff than bother with it all!

Some of the little outfits brought back lovely memories of D when he was tiny. And it's so hard to imagine now that he was just a weeny little thing fitting into these really little babygrows.

Today we're off to explore the idea of fitting a closet into the nursery vs buying a wardrobe.

Spring

The official first day of Spring started with a bunch of snow overnight and continued with pissing rain all day.

We took a trip into Toronto today to do some baby shopping. First off to a rather nice Maternity boutique where I spent an obscene amount of money on a pretty top. Then down to Bloor Street to Pottery Barn Kids where we started to shop for this little fellow. I bought the bassinet I had been after, some bedding for it (blue and white gingham check), some bedding to match for the big crib, and a couple of cute teddies. Oh and a white wicker basket to match the bassinet with the same fabric lining it. So nice!.

G and I agree that we miss City living to a certain extent. Not the actual living, in the city, bit.... but the smart stores, the life, the sophistication. Suburbia just don't got it. You can't walk to a Starbucks on a Sunday morning here, most peoples idea of a gourmet meal out is Chicken Wings, and it's all very samey and bland in every other respect. I wouldn't like to live downtown in a big city again but our next place of living is definitely going to have to be somewhere a bit 'smarter' than here.

After our expedition downtown we popped up to one of D and G's favourite places 'Race World' so that D could have a play on their track and so that they could get some new gadgets for D's Scalextric. Came home with some complicated computer race management system which hooks up to the track, and my personal favourite...a big truck.

Once we got home we braved the basement storage room and went through all the boxes which have been sitting there basically since we moved here. Goal - to find and retrieve baby clothes and accessories. Success, although it took several hours. Now I have to sift through all the clothes and sort them into age group, then wash them all! So cute though, you forget how small they are at that age :-)

The video...

Here's the uploaded video of the little fellow :-)

Click Me
Or Me (smaller size stream, quality maybe not so good)

Scan Vid

Picked up the VHS of the Ultrasound from last week - very cute indeed! G is going to digitise it later so that I can upload it, will post a link. D is very fascinated by it, as he is by the whole pregnancy.

Had another appointment this morning, all is well. They confirmed that there were no indicators for anything dodgy on the scan, and that all looked well. Blood Pressure fine, Blood Sugars fine, Weight gain on target of approximately 1lb per week. Next appointment in 2 weeks.

Finding I'm becoming very unable to focus on anything except this baby! When I'm out with friends I find it hard to concentrate on other subjects. Do not want to be a baby bore by any means, so will try to keep it zipped!

Dry

Every morning for the last couple of months I've been waking up with a stuffed & bloody nose, dry throat, dry lips, and desperate for a drink of water.

Apparently this is a fairly common thing in the 2nd Trimester of pregnancy, but it has been getting me down. Obviously I can't take any medication for it either, so I invested in a humidifier for the bedroom. This is a dry time of year anyway, and there's hot dry air being pumped through the house 24 x 7 to make it worse.

Anyway, the last 2 nights I've slept with the humidifier on and although my nose has been stuffed, I haven't (touch wood) woken feeling dehydrated or with a sore dry throat, so fingers crossed it is working.

I'll keep it on till the Summer when it's more than humid enough for any living man or beast!

mmmm massage

3rd massage today. Don't know if it's down to the massage or hormonal changes, but (touch wood) I've not had a headache in a week and some. Something is definitely working in my favour though, so I fully intend to continue to go every week. Today I asked her to work a little on my lower back as well as my shoulders, and that was very relaxing. My lower back is starting to feel the strain of the excess tummy weight.

D is being extremely helpful knowing that my movement is more restricted - he's suddenly decided that he will dress himself (something I've been trying to get him to do for the last year) so that I don't have to bend down - bless. We also are trying very hard indeed to break the situation with him coming into our bed in the night. Yesterday we bought him a 'gold star chart' and if he sleeps through in his room until daylight he gets a gold star. So far so good (touch wood again), he is desperate for those stars!

20 Weeks

The 'official' halfway point :-)

Some of the changes in my body over the last short while include the obvious stomach size.... I'm definitely getting bigger. I have a feeling I've gained quite a few pounds in the last fortnight, so I'll probably get in trouble on Thursday at my next appointment!

I need to get some more maternity clothes, I don't have enough. It's a funny time of year though because it's still cold outside, but I know it won't be for too much longer. I don't want to waste money on 'warm' things which will be unecessary in a few weeks.

I also bought 2 new bra's a couple of weeks ago in a bigger size. They are already too small. Not good!

I've avoided [new] stretchmarks so far. I wonder if I'll get any this time. I'm not sure if it's inevitable, but given that when I was pregnant with Dylan my body was stretched beyond conceivable proportions, I am hoping it won't get so bad this time with my diet being controlled and therefore I may possibly avoid them.

The baby continues to get more & more active which I just love feeling. It's very reassuring to know he's in there stretching and kicking.

I can't wait to get into all the stuff in the basement storage room and have a big sort out to figure out exactly what we have and what we need to buy. D has bazillions of really smart clothes which he's grown out of so I want to go through and sort them into size, give them a wash, and prepare them for this little chap!

D is off school this week for March break, and off next week from the Montessori as they have a 2 week vacation instead of 1. It's 10.23am on Monday morning and I'm already wishing he was back at school, he's in the most horrendous whiney mood this morning! Need to figure out some activities to do this week with him to keep him occupied.

Back from Ottawa

Which is, I thought, fairly rubbish. It was great to get away for the weekend as a family, but as a venue Ottawa left alot to be desired. Take any large town / city in Southern Ontario and you have Ottawa, plus it has a few buildings designed to look like the British Houses of Parliament which don't quite work and are not particularly interesting to look at, architectually speaking. From a British perspective not interesting really at all, no history, no sense of world power. A few museums and galleries designed to attract the tourists house some not very interesting exhibits, and otherwise you have the same old shops, same looking streets, same old same old (except it's a bit colder there).

I suppose we're spoiled really - growing up in one of the best cultural and historical cities in the world. And many places I've had the pleasure of visiting have so much to offer. London, New York, Paris, Rome, Boston, even some of the not-so-historical cities in the West of the US have their own charm and individuality which makes them worth visiting. When I think of the wonders housed in some of the museums in London, from Old Masters to Egyptian Mummies to full sized Dinosaur skeletons.....all manner of the worlds best examples of art and history...... I find it hard to get excited over some Canadian artist nobody outside of Ontario has ever heard of (and probably with good reason). Ottawa museums really didn't seem to offer anything worth paying the entrance fee for.

All in all, I'd say Toronto is a *much* better city.

We stayed in a nice hotel, except for the fact that the fire alarm went off at 3am last night and we got evacuated (!). D loved the fact there was a pool and went swimming 3 times. We ate well. The highlight of the weekend for me was driving over into Quebec, away from the somewhat oppresive eastern-european regime same-ness of Ontario, into the hills, gorgeous scenery, and stopping at a lovely old village for lunch in a cafe serving absolutely delicious food.

One of the surprising things for me this weekend was not being able to walk the streets for 10 hours due to my pregnant belly! We generally like to explore on foot when we go anywhere, and we set off (over-ambitiously) on Saturday morning to walk around Ottawa. It didn't help that it was bloody cold, but after an hour or so I was really needing to sit & feeling the strain.

This morning, resting in the room while G & D went for a final swim, I felt the baby kick from the outside for the first time. I was resting my hand under my tummy lying on my side and felt a definite kick. So nice!

Still feeling really overawed by knowing we're having another boy. I think alot of it is the difference between knowing and not knowing (regardless of the sex).... it's a whole new ballgame and I didn't have that experience with D. Before finding out - there's a baby in there, could be male, could be female, and basically I didn't think of him as a person anything like as much as I now do, now that I know. The bond is so much stronger for knowing. It's weird, I never thought I'd feel that way! I also think I might've pursuaded G into one of my favourite names, fingers crossed!

Still in awe...

Still completely bowled over by finding out that we're having a little boy. The more I think about it, the more delighted and thrilled I am. It seems like such enormous news to know too, I want to dance and sing and shout it from the rooftops and talk about it constantly with anyone and everyone.... very strange trying to focus on conversation about anything else whatsoever!

G and I have been talking about names, we are stuck trying to come up with one. Have absolutely no idea what to call this little chap! My current favourite is 'Spike' but not many people seem to agree! Suggestions very welcome please! Only criteria I have is nothing beginning with J, and not Tom for obviously reasons.

We are probably going away for the weekend so if I don't post for a few days, you know why!

A lovely little boy!

After all the convincing everyone has been doing to make me think we were having a girl, I'm totally overwhelmed by finding out that we're having another little boy!

The scan this morning took forever. For some reason husbands/partners are not allowed in while they do all the measuring stuff, which I don't like, and I wasn't allowed to look either , and boy did it take a long time! Apparently the baby was wiggling all over the place and not sitting still to be measured :) I was bursting for the loo and fortunately after about 30 mins she allowed me to go. The tech was really nice and chatty which made alot of difference (often they're very arsey).

Anyway, by 10.50 I got concerned as G had to leave by 11 to pick up D from the bus, so I had her bring him in and we did the 'aww look it's a baby' bit..... took a look for the gender and she said she thought she saw boy bits! G was in a right state at this point as sitting out there in the waiting room for 50 mins he'd convinced himself that something was terribly wrong so he was so relieved to find out that all was OK!

G then had to go, and she finished off. So thorough - measuring & checking absolutely everything - I don't recall them doing anything like that level of detail with D. She then tried to record the video that I get to keep but had problems so we ended up trying 4 times (got to see HIM lots!!) and confirmed the gender a couple of times too which was cool. All in all the whole process took an hour and a half!

It was great to see HIM (can't get used to that!), so cute, wiggling all around, we saw him look right at us and move his mouth, wave, and do all the really cute stuff in great detail.

Anyway - I came out and called G who was still a bit shellshocked from his panic attack thinking they were keeping me away from him for ages because there was a problem! We talked as I drove home and we're both really thrilled to be having another little boy. G wanted a girl, but not to the exclusion of being thrilled about having another boy, and overwhelmingly is totally relieved that the baby is fine!!. I hadn't wanted a girl but everyone had convinced me I was having one so for the last few weeks had been trying to adjust myself to the fact that I would be having one. I was sort of coming to terms with it, but I now think maybe only to the point where I was excited about girl clothes and pink stuff, not about the actual daughter bit! Recalling D as this lovely, gorgeous little snuffly boy I am absolutely delighted to think of experiencing that again. A little surprised, but delighted!

Rough Night

Woke up at 3.30am and spent the rest of the night in that awful state of semi-conciousness where your brain is working overtime fretting about things but your body wants to be asleep. I have no idea what I was fretting about, but I have a strong suspicion that it's all related to anxiety about this scan tomorrow. I'm seriously starting to freak out about it. I've gone from being desperate for tomorrow to come so that I can find out the sex of the baby, to being terrified about the health and wellbeing of the baby. Please God let all be fine.

I have a massage today at 1pm which will hopefully relieve some of this tension that I've got building up inside. Hopefully it'll allow me some peaceful sleep tonight too.

19 Weeks

I suppose I'm unofficially half way there this week, as this baby is going to be coming out at 38 wks - strange thought!

In some ways this has gone very quickly so far, but it's also dragged in others. I suppose there's the natural impatience to get further in to it, to get the scan, get things moving and be reassured that things are ok, etc which is the draggy part..... but in other ways it does seem to be flying by in so much as I'm enjoying it, I'm not particularly stressing about it (except about this scan on weds!), and I'm being well looked after which is a pleasure.

I'm also enjoying the time we have left as a family of 3, knowing that things will be very different afterwards. D is being so sweet about the baby, constantly touching my tummy, asking millions of questions, making sure I'm feeling OK, etc. In some ways I feel so bad that I'm going to change his life so drastically by introducing a new member of the family!

grrr, snow again

Just as we'd finally got rid of the last traces of snow it decided to bucket down with the stuff today and now everything is covered in a film of white again.

Last night's dinner party went well - the food was great and so was the company. My girl friends are throwing me a baby shower in May apparently (can't wait!) and I have to give them a list of who to invite. Etiquette for these things apparently demands that if you receive an invitation, you are obliged to send a present if you can't attend. So watch your letter boxes all you people in the UK lol.

We took a trip to the British Isles Show today as planned (still cannot get over how appalling that web site is!). It wasn't worth the $13 each to get in as essentially there was bugger all except some stalls selling imported British food (which you can get in several shops around here for the same price) and a few others which had a bunch of crap Scottish knick-knacks on them. Nevertheless, I stocked up on British Heinz Baked Beans and Heinz Tomato Soup which I've recently been craving.

mmmm Thai food

Had fabulous take-out from a local Thai restaurant last night which satisfied my spice craving. Tonight friends are coming over for dinner, so I should eat well this weekend!

Might check out 'The British Isles Show' tomorrow (note, possibly the worst web site in the history of the world), which is on in Toronto this weekend. (bloody hell, that website is so bad it doesn't even tell you when it is!).

Which leads me to a small rant about the web in Canada in general - piss poor. E-Commerce is practically non-existent. It's difficult / impossible to order much online without ending up ordering it from the US and having to pay massive import duty. You're basically limited to doing your banking, buying books (which are disproportionately expensive in Canada) or you can get a couple of select items from one of the two (yes two) department stores that exist in this country. Wake up to the new millennium Canada please! It has to be some kind of desperate attempt to hang on to (or perhaps create) their own identity that they make it extremely difficult for the consumer here by being so anal about the amount of imported goods that can be sold here, or brought in from the outside. All very well but what is here is shite.

Things on my mind

Knowing how easy it is to get worked up about things during the hormonally imbalanced time of pregnancy, I've been making a concious effort to let most stuff glide right over my head and not get too worked up about anything. Judging by some of the posts on the 'people having babies in July' bulletin board I visit daily, I'm doing pretty well, as many people at this stage have already tipped over the edge into pure irritability with the world and everyone in it. In comparison I'm the picture of calmness.

Having said that, there's a couple of things which are bugging me. One is a so-called friend of mine who is totally wrapped up in herself and her own world that she has no idea, care, nor consideration for anyone else...... the friendship is very one-sided. She takes advantage of me alot. I haven't spoken to her in a month or so because she's had other things going on (typical) and now that she's free again things are already starting once again to use me as this listening post available whenever needed. I need to put a stop to it, but it's hard, and I'm not wanting any kind of confrontation but I don't see how I can avoid being blunt with her when she shows up to use me again.

Another thing on my mind is the forthcoming scan. On the aforementioned 'babies being born in July' bulletin board someone posted this week about how they'd atteneded their scan and the baby was found to be unable to survive outside the womb and they would have to terminate the pregnancy. There was no further detail but this has freaked me out and I'm now seriously panicky about the scan next week and completely worried that things will not be OK.

Lastly but not leastly, G. Very busy with work, comes home and turns on laptop within 5 minutes of walking through the door, pausing only to eat dinner, comes to bed much later than I do. Am trying to be understanding but it's hard sometimes as he is paying zero attention to anything going on around him in the home. I'm at a point where I need to feel looked after if only emotionally, and instead I'm more or less coping with worrying about everything on my own. I write things on the calendar and he doesn't notice, or I tell him a week in advance, then when it comes he yells at me that I didn't tell him what was going on. I know when the baby comes he is the most brilliant father that could possibly exist, doing everything from nappies to night feeds and making sure I get rest, but it's quite tough being pregnant, looking after Dylan, and juggling our lives, with little or no input.

Anyway, that's my rants for the day. Pay no attention I just wanted to vent them somewhere.

High Risk Clinic Appointment

I saw the OB and the Endocrinologist this morning at the HRC at the hospital.

My blood pressure is good, there's nothing dodgy in my wee and I have only gained 1 pound in the last 2 weeks (hurrah).

The Endocrin said that I should expect to see some wonky blood sugar results starting over the next few weeks which is when Gestational Diabetes really starts to take control. He wants to see me again in 2 weeks.

The OB listened to the baby's heart beat (aww) and gave me my IPS/AFP results which were a resounding NEGATIVE (thank goodness). Apparently the risk of the baby having Downs Syndrome is 1 in 15,000 - which is excellent, and the risk of any other Neural Tube Defect is 1 in 8000 which is also excellent. I'd been a little worried about this test, knowing that so many women have false positive results, so it's a huge relief to know that all is well. The CBC Blood Test results were also in, and fine, which means I'm not having any adverse reaction to the Fragmin which is good news.

The OB said that they probably wouldn't be able to give me a firm date for the C-Section for another 10 weeks or so, but to plan for 38 wk delivery as originally stated. She also said that the chances are that this baby won't be small, but hopefully won't be out of control big like D was! She wants to see me again in 4 weeks.

So, a very positive appointment. Next on the agenda is the big scan next week which I absolutely cannot wait for! I'm doing remarkably well so far in avoiding being stressed, avoiding reading negative stuff, and feeling extremely calm about the whole pregnancy but it will be extremely good to get this scan done and get the 'all clear' on that front as it's one of the big hurdles of pregnancy and I'm anxious to get it out of the way.

SAD

as in, Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Yesterday I woke up to gloriously blue skies, with a lovely gentle breeze blowing onto my face from the open bedroom window. Wonderful. After all these months of snow and ice and minus thirty temperatures it was *so* good to finally get a sense of Spring. I bounced out of bed, happily did my chores, got the car washed, went for a massage, and generally had a great day.

This morning, overcast skies, damp, cold, miserable. And the day, thus far, has been similar in that I've lost the 'bounce' that yesterday brought with it's beautiful skies and wanted to do bugger all other than snooze on the couch.

Roll on summer!

Shoulders still feel great after yesterday's massage. Slept like a baby last night too!

*bliss is........*

...a 45 minute long massage concentrating on my neck, shoulders, and upper back in a darkened room with relaxing music playing. The masseur (masseuse?-female) was fantastic at getting into all the knots and bumps that have accumulated and I now feel wonderful. To help with my pregnant state she had me lie on my side wrapped around a full body pillow and she worked on 1 shoulder at a time while the rest of me was snuggled inside sheets. Hopefully this will help with the headaches! I booked another appointment for next week, this time for an hour and to include my legs as I don't think it will hurt to encourage circulation there, especially given my tendency towards DVT's. I think I will go on a weekly basis. Bliss.

In other news, I have been without email for the last 24 hours but thankfully it is now fixed. It's a relief for me (although not for Neil) not to be responsible for the servers anymore. Invariably they would blow up just when we'd gone away for the weekend and we (or G) would have to traipse home. Or it would happen at 3am. Regardless, it was always extremely inconvenient. Poor Neil!

I booked an appointment at the 3D Ultrasound Clinic for the end of March. The lady said that the later the better for the purpose of face shots, which I'm not *too* fussed about and am slightly apprehensive that that would be eerie, so I went for earlier but not too early... so we should get to see the whole baby move around and not too much focus on the face!

18 Weeks

Apparently this week my nipples are getting much bigger and could eventually cover half of my breast. Errrrrrr ... well not so far and I sincerely hope they don't!

I booked an appointment tomorrow with a Massage Therapist. Can't wait. I stopped visiting the Chiropractor back in January because I'm concerned about any bruising that may occur internally while I'm taking the Fragmin. Whether this is related, I've been getting quite alot of headaches since. Of course, 2nd Trimester of pregnancy causes headaches anyway so it is hard to know, but along with the headaches my muscles, particularly those in my shoulders, have become really tense. Massage, I hope, will take that tension out and hopefully ease the headaches which are always in the back of my neck and often caused by the muscles spasm'ing there. Also it's a rather nice luxury during pregnancy to ease away the strain put on ones back by the ever increasing weight at the front, so I'm rather excited about starting this and hopefully will continue it throughout the next few months.