babyblog

He Sleeps!

I swear someone's switched Harry for another baby. He's currently asleep and has been since 8.30am (2.5 hrs) which is, I think, the longest nap he's ever taken by MILES. Yesterday & the day before that he did something similar too. Also he's been sleeping much better at night - last night he woke at 12.30 and grizzled a bit, was fed and coaxed back to sleep and then didn't wake up again until the morning. This is fairly amazing considering how little sleep we've been getting over the last 8 and a half months, and considering that his naps have been maxing out at 45 mins tops until now!

Withdrawal Wierdness

I'm still OK for the most part, but over the last 24 hours have started to feel a little dizzy and out of sorts (physically). It's hard to explain but it's almost as though I've drunk 10 cups of very strong coffee and am having a giant caffeine buzz, plus taken a whole bunch of decongestants (which I'm allergic to) so my heart is bouncing around and I feel a little strange.

Other than that (!) I feel fine, despite aforementioned life altering things happening at rapid speed which I will write about soon.

Double Homicide - Jonathan and Faye Kellerman

People who watch me struggle to get a stroller through doorways without offering to help.

Neil wrote his house off

I had to laugh yesterday at Neils photos of his house after reversing his car into it at high speed. Obviously I'm glad he's OK but what a classic.

I showed my dad, which prompted an email to Neil and I worth repeating here.

I had a Renault 8 automatic. Smashing car. The throttle started sticking so I took it to a repair place near where I worked in Derby.
About six hours later Mick, the owner, rang me at work.
“I've written your car off Bob.”
“Ho ho very funny.”
“No it's not - I got my face smashed up in the crash and I'm just back home from hospital. You better come round.”
So I got a cab to Mick's house. He was stitched and bandaged and bruised and he poured me a pint of home brew and told me what had happened.
He'd started my car to move it into his garage and the engine was coughing and spluttering a bit. So he floored the accelerator and the cable stuck. The car shot forward and he couldn't think what to do in time to stop it hitting a railway bridge. Fortunately he wasn't badly hurt but the Renault was.
“So what happens now?”
He poured me another pint of home brew.
“I'll lend you a car for a few days while I get the money together to pay you off for the other one.”
“OK. This beer's very strong.”
“Drink up and I'll take you round the back and you can choose one of my other cars to borrow.”
We stood up and had to hold on to each other to stop falling over.
“Bloody hell we're pissed. I must have poured us the barley wine instead of the bitter!”
We reeled out to his back yard and there, among a few ordinary cars, was a 1957 Chevrolet Impala coupe. Twent five feet long, eight feet wide, white sidewall tyres, white vinyl roof and fins to die for.
“Thatsh the car of my dreamsh - I'll take that one,” I said drunkenly.
I drove it home - at about six miles an hour and five miles to the gallon. It was so wide I daren't take it down the drive so I proudly left it out front of the house for all to admire.
I walked in beaming.
Katie's Mum said “what's that out there?”
“Itsh our new car - ishn't it fantashtic?”
“If you think I'm travelling anywhere in that monstrosity you're mistaken,” she said.
Next day I swapped it for a Ford Anglia. Sigh....

Things are on the up

It's the weather. You spend 6 months indoors in this godforsaken country, hibernating and staying out of the freezing temperatures. Along with the cold comes isolation - you see people by arrangement only.

This weekend the temperatures suddenly went up above zero, and it was like watching animals emerge sleepily out of their winter den for the first time, blinking and rubbing their eyes as they wonder 'is it really over?'. The neighbourhood was suddenly teaming with people.

Today temperatures outside read 15 degrees and I'm in a t-shirt, feeling positive.

Talking of feeling positive, one of my New Years Resolutions was to stop taking Zoloft. Today is the 3rd day off the medication and so far so good.

A couple of years ago after the depression hit for the first time, I was taking a drug called Effexor which is notorious for horrendous withdrawal symptoms (something my Dr didn't make me aware of when he recommended it to me). Stopping it was coming off Heroin cold turkey. My whole body shook, I was dizzy, I sweated, I had these bizarre 'brain shivers' where suddenly the world would feel as though it had spun on it's axis without me, and I felt absolutely horrific emotionally. It was so bad, that the first time I tried to stop taking it I think I lasted a week and ended up back on it.

The second time I tried to stop, I steeled myself against the withdrawal side effects, and stuck it out. It was basically as bad as the first time but knowing what to expect I hung in there. After a couple of weeks or so, I finally got through the worst of it and began to feel better. Alot better. Unfortunately then a bunch of stuff happened which turned me back down the path of depression and I ended up being put on Zoloft.

The thing is, when you're taking these drugs, you do feel better. I can't speak for anyone else, but depression for me is like living under a cloud of negativity. I am unable to enjoy anything, see the positive in anything, and feel completely hopeless and unworthy. For example, when we originally moved here people would see if I wanted to get together for a coffee (being friendly, like) and I'd be convinced that I had nothing interesting or positive to say therefore I would make excuses and not go (thus being even more miserable and isolated).

The drugs stop those mood swings which invariably tend towards the lower of the curve... they balance you out, and you feel better, alot better. It's hard to know when you are that much better that you perhaps ought to consider stopping them though, but for me I seem to reach a point where I realise that they are no longer balancing the lows, but keeping me on an even path of blandness, if that makes sense. The low's have gone, but I start to appreciate that the high's are being suppressed too.

I think this means that I'm ready to stop them, anyway, reaching this point of realisation. I reached it a while ago actually, but given the fact that I'd just had Harry and was therefore succesptible to some mood instability, I decided to keep taking them. But, y'know, you have to stop sometime (despite some potentially life altering stuff looming dangerously around the corner*), so I've stopped.

And I feel good, 3 days later! I'm sure I felt dreadful after I attempted to stop the Effexor by this point, so fingers crossed all will go well.

* tbd at a later date.

g

g


Originally uploaded by katybops.

I'm faffing with lighting and photoshop both. I have a long way to go!

He did it!!!!

He SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! From 8pm last night until 7am this morning, waking only a couple of times to quietly grumble and then go back to sleep. I, of course, woke about 4 times and lay awake for ages. I think that at such point I am able to get regular all-night sleeps in, it will take a long time for my body to readjust after all this time of being woken so often.

Yawn

This DI(all)Y stuff is exhausting, I am very tired indeed. And I didn't, to be honest, do much differently than if G had been here. I think I'm tired because I've had a long week of activity with little rest to compensate. I've had alot of physical activity, 3 sessions at the gym and a day of skiing. I've had alot of broken sleep thanks to a certain little man, and I've been getting alot of chores done so I literally have not sat down and rested until the boys have been in bed all week.

This afternoon I was incredibly tired but had to spend it cooking up a loads of baby food recipes for Harry who is on hunger strike from all that I have previously prepared, and all store bought jars. I think he's going through a 'I want to do it myself' phase, which is not ideal for me because it means he a) gets mess everywhere and b) doesn't eat enough. I made some interesting food that he can manage himself today though and bunged it into the freezer, so hopefully it'll keep us going for a while.

We went out for dinner tonight to our friends house and it reminded me of the first month we were in Canada and G went away. I was here, having moved halfway around the world, feeling extremely unsettled and isolated from all that was familiar. With G gone, I was alone with a 2yr old Dylan, and no other adult company for 7 nights. I didn't even know my way around this area, I don't think we had much in the way of furniture, and I was extremely, thoroughly, and totally depressed. Awful. Awful. Awful.

We've been here coming up to 4 years now, and it's been a bit of a roller coaster at times but I have to say that this last year has been the best yet. There's no chance of being home alone without adult contact anymore, we have some really good friends and life is generally packed full of activity and social contact. It occured to me today that for quite some time now I've not had a 'routine' to speak of where my days all melt into one. There is always something going on, someone to see, something to do, and it makes time fly by so quickly that I'm genuinely amazed when I realise that H is 8 months old already.

Single Parenting

G is away for a couple of days (nutters and stalkers need not come round) and I'm already exhausted (he only went this morning).

Had a good day, despite having to do the school bus run this morning AND visit the deathtist for my 6 monthly checkup, AND do the grocery shopping, AND carry it in to the house by myself, AND have to put both boys to bed by myself AND make my own cup of tea this evening AND no doubt wake up eleventy times during the night with H :-)

Yep, despite all that it was a good day.

Tomorrow we've invited ourselves over to a friends house (bargain, don't have to cook) and G is back early Saturday morning.

Ski Dude

D and I went skiing this afternoon for what is probably the last time this season. Last week we'd gone and had a fairly unsuccessful time as he'd freaked out during a lesson and refused to continue with it. He had a cold, was feeling under the weather, and combining that with his insecurities and the fact that one of his mates was doing really well, he had packed it in and wouldn't ski anymore. I didn't want that to be the thing he remembered about skiing this winter so I told him we'd go together, just the two of us, and take it easy and there be no pressure to go quickly or whatever.

My son, the timid one, the one who is too scared to take risks, this is.

So, we get on to the slope and he asks to go on the first stage of the hill a couple of times - it's just a small slope with a magic carpet lift on it, not very steep. We do that without problem, and then he says he feels up to doing the bigger run, the one that comes back up on a chairlift. OK, I say, and we go slowish down to the bottom. We do the chairlift (with me helping him on & off), we get back to the top, and we repeat the exercise.

On our 3rd run, my son, the timid one, the one who is too scared to take risks, decides that he's no longer timid or scared of taking risks, and decides to ski down VERY VERY FAST with his both ski's facing straight down the mountain, without turns or 'pizza wedge' (snow plow)'s to slow him down, coming to a halt at the bottom. I struggle to keep up. We reach the bottom and he is laughing and wants to do it again, faster. .

We do it again. FASTER.

By now, he is not pausing at all on the hill, the lifts are barely bothering him, and he's pelting down the mountain at enormous velocity with me going flat out behind him scared witless that I'm going to fall and trying (in vain) to catch him up.

3 hours later we had to finish as the place was closing down, much to his disgust.

Fanbloodytastic. Absolutely brilliant fun.

(except for the one time I waited a bit too long for him to get off the chairlift and ended up almost being taken back down so jumped off and faceplanted the snow while D laughed his socks off)

Dreadful

BBC NEWS | Americas | Schiavo parents' appeal rejected

This story fills me with horror. Imagine being a parent and it being decided for you, on the wishes of some spud your kid happened to marry, that your child was to die of hunger and thirst. The husband has moved on with his life and got a new family. He obviously wants rid of her. The parents love their child and want her to live. Reading their website you can see that she's not 'vegetative' but can communicate with them and show emotion. The husband seems like a shady character.

How can it possibly be allowed to be up to him what happens? How can the courts even consider allowing her to die in this dreadful way.

The Forgotten Man - Robert Crais

Harry - 8 Months Old

Hey Big Fellow

8 months old today. Before we know it you'll be a whole year old, where on earth does the time go?

This last month has been one of growth for you. You are busy getting bigger and bigger, and growing teeth and hair! Your hair is very funny right now as there is so much of it -- and it all grows in different directions with the top sticking straight upright in a manner most Punks would be proud of and could only achieve with vast amounts of hair gel.

You now have 4 teeth, your lower front two and your top 'fangs'. I have nicknamed you 'Dracula'. The top front two are on their way though judging by the volume of drool coming out of your mouth constantly, and the ever present rash rearing it's head again.

Yesterday we took you to get some photographs taken by a professional photographer. You were good as gold and sat and laughed and giggled for her while she snapped away. You also looked very snazzy in your $300 outfit ;-) We hope there's some lovely photo's of you and your brother and can't wait to see the results.

Your dad and I were laughing last night as we realised that when you're older and ever say or do anything stupid, we are going to refer to the fact that you're Canadian as the reason. Apologies in advance for what is no doubt going to become a life long taking of the mickey there my love! And of course you're not really Canadian, you were just born here. You've got English blood flowing through those veins (we'll ignore the Welsh bit even though they did just win the Rugby) through and through :-)

Not to constantly harp on about your sleeping habits (or lack thereof) don't you think it's time you started to sleep through the night? Or nap for longer than 40 minutes at a time? No? OK my darling boy, but any time you do feel like doing that let me know and I will very gladly accomodate you!

Keep smiling lovely little man, you're such a delight.

Love

Mummy xxxx

Cold Service - Robert B Parker

Hmm, is it finally here?

Over the last couple of days, it does actually appear that Winter is on the wane, and Spring is around the corner. The days are lengthening, the sun is starting to warm up, and (most importantly) the snow is melting.

I have noticed a definite change in the appearance of what little of nature is visible, it is brightening up, becoming greener. Today I even noticed that a few inches of grass are showing as the snow recedes on the neighbourhood lawns.

Roll on Summer.

The Force is not with me this morning

Trying to accomplish a few tasks this morning that I've been putting off forever....

1. Book G an appointment with the Endocrinologist.
He is hopeless with his diabetes and is also 6 months overdue to see the Endocrinologist. Despite having pointed this fact out to him a million and one times over the last 6 months, he still hasn't booked one, so I decided to do it for him. Took me forever to source the number for this guys office, had to call around to get it, and then when I finally did manage to call they were not, of course, there. I left a voice mail but (obviously) nobody has called back.

2. Book D & I appointments with the Deathtist.
We are both overdue for our 6 monthly checkup. D had a tiny filling put in a year or so ago and I think it might've fallen out. I have chipped one of my back teeth a tiny bit and it's starting to hurt. Why have I put off making this appointment for so long? Because I am phobic about the dentist. What happened when I finally got around to making the call this morning? Nobody was there.

3. Book D an appointment to get his hair cut with our lovely friend & neighbour Joanne who works at a local salon and is official hairdresser to the street.
We have these photo's being taken on Monday and D's hair is a little unruly to say the least. Found the number for the salon, called, and guess what? Nobody was there.

Scream.

I guess I'll get around to making the calls again in another 6 months.

Defamer

The Virgins Lover - Phillipa Gregory

When it was I become so accustomed to Canadian winter that I started wearing t-shirts as soon as it rose above freezing and thought it was WARM?

March Break

With Dylan off school for the next week and change I'm having to fill the days with interesting things to amuse him. So far so good, although he's got a bit of a cold and a fever so his mood has been less than perfect. We've done a few exciting things, skiing and 'Wizard World', to name a couple, both of which were alot of fun.

Although having said that....... I had my palm read today at this Wizard World thing, and prophecies of doom abounded including a warning to watch for something very serious health related. Great. The sane / rational part of me wants to dismiss it as utter nonsense. The other bit is going 'ERK'.

In other news, H has now come down with the fever / cold and is utterly miserable. Also is not sleeping very well at all (hourly waking for 3 nights in a row) so I'm exhausted. G kindly stayed around and looked after him for the last couple of days to enable me to take D out.

People with 3 kids, stop here

I wondered if anyone out there with 3 kids, or anyone with knowledge of large families, might have anything to share with me (No I am NOT pregnant!!!)

When D was born we weren't sure we would have another baby, we felt quite complete and due to all the health issues were reluctant to take the step again. Plus I had a tough pregnancy with him, at least a very unenjoyable one with the undiagnosed diabetes and all, and then there was the Pulmonary Embolism afterwards.......

Anyway, having had Harry and having had what was in comparison a thoroughly enjoyable pregnancy (yeah I know, go back & read the pregnancy posts and then tell us it was enjoyable Katie), and finding having a 2nd child a whole lot easier now that I know what Im doing, and all those things....... I find I am not sure if I feel 'done' with having babies. Which if you know me will know is a 100% turnabout from the 'omg I would never be able to cope with 3 kids' mentality I used to have!

Anyway, listing pro's and con's is probably not the ideal way to make a decison like this but they are thus:

Pro's

Loving being a mum, loving having my boys, thoroughly enjoy their company.

Personally rather like the thought of big family

Like the thought that the babies will have lots of siblings (well ok 3, certainly not 4!) to play with when young and to have as friends when older.

We have the space

Fortunate enough to be able to be at home to be a full time mum to devote the time to.

Love babies and want another one, LOL.

Con's

Cost

Would my time be too divided and not enough given to each child?

Would I ever have any time to myself / with G?

2 close in age (H and a 3rd who would have to come in not too distant future) = hard work?

Health implications - Protein S Deficiency / Diabetes / 3rd C-Section not things to be shrugged off lightly, though do-able

Age implications - am I getting too old ? (will be 34 in August)

Middle Child Issues - do I face setting H up to be a 'middle child' ? Will he always feel like one?

Might be a girl.

Thoughts?

boobupdate

Still hurts. Have been suffering with the infection symptoms over the last 24 hours (aches, pains, tiredness, fever) and it is also red and swollen. Hopefully the antibiotics have now begun to kick in and my body will mend itself.

Big and Small

Dad and Harry


Originally uploaded by katybops.

These guys are looking more & more alike each day

The Motive - John Lescroart

My left boob *really* hurts

Went to the gym this morning and noticed an uncomfortable feeling in my left boob. By the time I got home it had become extremely sore, and within a couple of hours it was swollen, red in patches, and excrutiatingly painful. Then I began to feel crap, feverish, etc. In otherwords, I have that which I've done extremely well to avoid thus far, Mastitis. After an hour and a half at the Walk-In Clinic I am now armed with antibiotics. Now all I need to do is go to bed and take a bucket load of painkillers to bring this fever down. Wah.

More Jackson Shennanigans

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Jackson misses judge's deadline

Does anyone actually believe this absurd story of a bad back? I am assuming people (including the jury) realise that entirely due to Jackson being a rich man who is not used to being told what to do, and trying to wangle his way out of being in court.

Brampton Real Estate

With the phenomenal amount of construction going on around here, it struck me, as I was driving around today trying to keep Harry asleep in the car, how amusing some of the sales bullshit surrounding the purchase of these new houses is.

Some actual definitions below:

Gorgeous Ravine Living! (house backs on to a small ditch)

Beautiful Forested Homes! (house backs on to 10 skanky looking trees)

Glorious Private Location! (not adjacent to another subdivision but intersected with a motorway and a major road)

Country Homes! (built on the edge of town. in 6 mths time will be in centre of town)

Airport Noise Warning. My personal favourite vague disclaimer about some possible potential noise from the airport. Planes actually skim the top of the houses as they land at Pearson.

Teething Nightmare

When D was small and teething, he used to get a tiny bit grumpy for a few hours, get a little redness in his face, and then bing! a tooth would appear.

No such luck with H.

Poor lad seems to have several coming through at once. His two top 'eye teeth' and the two either side of the bottom front two. All of which are visibly on their way and almost cutting through the gum but not quite.

Consequently he is VERY VERY MISERABLE. Nothing is making him happy. He can't nap, can't sleep later than 6am, pooing every 5 minutes, and is generally miserable with the world.

Ugh.

Why, despite buying at least one drink daily, I *never* win *anything* at Tim Hortons "Roll Up The Rim" competition.

Chiropractic Brilliance

If I'd known that I could be COMPLETELY PAIN FREE just by going the the Chiropractor ONCE, then I would have gone a long time ago. WHY DIDNT I GO A LONG TIME AGO??????

I have been in back agony for the last several months, not sleeping well because of it, waking up unable to turn over because of the pain, popping ibuprofen and occasionally Tylenol 3 like smarties trying to deal with it ...and it's been getting worse! And worse! And even more worse!

So I go see the Chiro and he says 'yep, things are a bit messed up there'... confirms my pelvis and several other vertebrae are out..... does 3 or 4 major CRRRRRRRRRACKK's and I come home and sleep like a baby without any pain. Once more with the WHY DIDNT I GO SOONER???!?!

I have to go again on Wednesday and he'll do some more work at it.... and be prepared for the fact that it might slip back into badness several times before adjusting fully, but wow does it feel good to be not in EXCRUTIATING PAIN for once.

experiment

experiment


Originally uploaded by katybops.

Just signed up with Flickr for photo blogging

Back Pain

I went to see my massage therapist yesterday - the one I saw weekly during pregnancy who cured me of all kinds of aches and pains and headaches.

Lying on my tummy on the table was painful - I can't lie on my front without my lower back hurting alot. She spent a long time investigating various areas to try to determine what the problem is, and came to the conclusion that my pevlis has somehow become misaligned - perhaps due to recent pregnant state.

Anyway, this explains the dreadful pain I've been having in my back and hip area, and the fact that it's not fixing itself over time. She recommended that I go and see a chiropractor who should be able to sort it out, so I have made an appointment for this afternoon.

After the massage instead of feeling extremely relaxed I came away in pain (expected, but nonetheless unpleasant) and for the rest of the day could barely move despite copious amounts of painkillers.

How long it takes to lose weight.

Eggspectation

Why 'Mothers Day' is different on this side of the Atlantic?

Suspect - Michael Robotham

Ice on the Japanese Maple outside my house

Hot Date

It's been a long while since I have been out on a Friday night to see a movie so I was thrilled when this gorgeous chap asked me to go last night. He promised me that we will make it a regular event. Although the choice of movie was not mine, I had a great time and was even the recipient of a cuddle during the film. And he was too cute and cried during a soppy bit (bit like his father in that respect!). Going to the movies with your 6 yr old son is actually rather nice :-)

Has anyone been following the Michael Jackson trial? I don't really want to give it head space but I caught a glimpse of a story online today. Personally I think he's probably guilty, but I also think that they have a shaky case against him given the credibility of the family doing the accusing. Clearly the Jackson machine has attempted as best they can to discredit the accuser in the media over the last few months, but even so it's hard to understand this families behaviour in terms of having the children spend time with him, clearly stating that he was innocent of all on tape, and having made false accusations against other people in the past. Having said that, I can't comprehend how a child could invent a story like that and stick to it. Children inevitably break down and tell the truth if put under enough pressure and you can be sure they have been under an enormous amount of it since going to the authorities. To keep the story consistent and coherent must mean there is an element of truth in it, surely?

Working Out

I've been to the gym again today and I know I'm going to hurt tomorrow. I really need to focus on losing weight now too by dieting. It's just so tricky when you're exhausted, sleeping very little, breastfeeding, and have no energy to turn down that Creme Egg (or 4).

'Happy Harry' is currently napping in his swing after waking me up multiple times last night and napping very little yesterday during the day. I suspect he might be teething again as his drool level is vastly increased and his temperament less than 100% jolly.

I'm sitting here contemplating the need to tidy and clean up the house which looks like some type of nuclear device detonated recently. Not sure my muscles are up to it after being thoroughly exhausted earlier (good excuse?)

Happy Harry

He's so much fun at the moment (despite the lack of sleeping well!). He loves to be in his exersaucer or to roll around on the floor naked. He's also trying to get from A to B by way of rolling around which bodes well for earlier crawling than his big brother managed! He's very chatty and smiley and the ladies who run the daycare at the gym have nicknamed him 'Happy Harry' which suits him well :-)