babyblog

Lurgy

I always get lurgy this time of year... this exact time of year. Weird. I've been horribly congested for 2, maybe even 3 weeks now... it is getting prgoressively worse. I can feel my sinus's beginning to get infected & I'm now coughing up green stuff. My ears feel like I'm permanently underwater. Lovely. Got a Doc's appt for tomorrow to get some Anti B's as this can't go on!

Good Company

Little Harry has gone through one of those rather sudden changes of late, and miraculously he has become rather good company to hang with. When I'm out with him he's no longer tearing off in the opposite direction and having an enormous paddy if made to come back, instead enjoying walking along with me and chatting away, helping me to do things.

He really loves going to the Supermarket now and walking along beside the trolley, helping me put things in, and helping me to pay at the end. Yesterday we went to a mall and instead of strapping him into his stroller I risked allowing him to walk. I wanted to go to one specific shop and as we approached it he noticed a giant fun looking play place for kids and said 'I want dif (this) way!!!' I told him that we could go there after we went in the shop that I wanted to go in and he said 'Okay' and happily trotted in alongside me. In the shop he behaved extremely well (only pulling 3 things off the shelves and turning off all the lights once) and then was rewarded by 45 mins in the play area which he loved. We then went back into the shop and he helped me buy some clothes for him, carrying them and saying 'new jamas!!" (trousers, but still!) He then escorted me to a nice cafe for lunch where we sat together and had soup and a roll. All in all, a rather nice date.

I'm going to give birth to a giant roll of fat

I swear my stomach is doing very weird things. There's no obvious big protruding bump like there was with the boys. Instead, every spare piece of flesh that I have seem to have congregated in the middle above my belly button to form this enormous spare tire. It's quite revolting.

Brachioradial Pruritis

The chronic condition that I have that makes my arm itch 24 hours a day is called Brachioradial Pruritis (or Brachioradial Pruritus).

It started around 4 years ago and it itches from just below my elbow on the top/inner of my arm and extends up to just below the shoulder. In the last few months it's also started itching on the top of my shoulder.

For 4 years I saw various Doctors and Dermatologists who told me it was 'Neuro Dermatitis'.... although the symptoms did not quite fit that, because I didn't have any of the 'changed skin' signs common to that condition. They prescribed me various creams, anti histamine creams, cortizone creams, lamisil, steroid creams, you name it. At one point I was also prescribed a very strong anti histamine to help me sleep - the common theory that all of these Doctors suggested was that if I could break the itch/scratch cycle it would go away. It never did.

I have on occasion gone a month, two, even three, without scratching it. Not because it hasn't itched, but because it hasn't itched unbearably, and because my willpower has had to become unbelieavably strong. If I do scratch it, it gets much much worse. The second I scratch, I get some 5 seconds of blissful relief that I'm doing it, followed by an immediate increase in the intensity of the itch which will last for days, weeks. When I do scratch it, the itch feels deeper than I can get to to relieve it. It's further down in my arm than the surface. It prickles, it burns, it itches.

Temperature changes aggravate the itch. I find the best solution is to wear long cotton sleeves all of the time (including at bed time). If I stand in a breeze with my arm exposed, if I stand unwittingly under an air conditioning vent, if I so much as put my arm outside of the bed covers at night, the itch is aggravated.

If the skin dries out, the itch is aggravated. I need to keep my arm very well moisturised at all times. The longest period I've gone without it being unbearable is around 2 months when I slathered it in Lubriderm cream several times per day. Vaseline is another solution if it gets really bad. These seem to add a protective layer to the skin which protect it from the elements.... so that anything touching it or blowing on it is less effective and doesn't aggravate it so much. But then if the day ends in a Y or the wind changes, sometimes they aggravate it as to make it worse!

I finally saw a Neurologist who diagnosed it as this nerve problem.. the nerve endings are damaged and causing the itch. That is why no creams work. He says that the best solution is a pill called Gabapentin / Neurontin. Unfortunately, being pregnant, I can't take it at the moment and the itch is worse than it's ever been. Last night I was in tears it was so bad. The only thing I could do was put an ice pack on it and freeze the pain away (which is a very temporary solution as it gets worse when it wears off). It has become so bad it wakes me at night (it seems worse in the evenings and at night), it itches ALL of the time, it is unescapable and unavoidable and I want to chop off my arm.

The reason I'm writing this? I came across for the first time, a blog where someone had mentioned an itch unrelated to this and some 700+ people had responded in comments because they suffer the itch that I have and were so delighted to find each other. Some people had pointed to a surve that they'd created at http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?p=WEB225VX8PDVAV and their hope is that information gathered will help a medical practitioner successfully diagnose and cure the problem.

I hope that this post will invite people with this problem to comment too and maybe between us we can find & share the best cure.

Another sleepless night

Harry was awake 3 times last night for at least half an hour each go. My itchy arm woke me once, and a need for the loo woke me twice. I think I slept for max 1 hour at a time before being awake for a minimum of half an hour each time. Combine this lack of sleep with feeling crap with a cold to being pregnant and needing rest and you get someone who is on the verge of becoming very run down. I think I've reached that weird point where adrenaline alone is keeping me going and I feel like I've drunk 10 strong espresso's and am buzzy and jittery.

Sleep Deprived

I wish I could sleep through the night again! One day? Soon?. We've got this new regime with Harry going on whereby when he cries in the night G will go into him, offer him a hug (usually rejected), give him a cup of water, and then leave the room and close the door. This provokes extremely loud protests quickly followed by him dropping off to sleep again. I am hoping that after a few days of this he will realise he isnt' getting milk, isn't getting into my bed, and that he'll break his routine and sleep through again... but he's persisting with it so far.

I'm finding it hard to sleep because of this upper arm itch too..... it's so bad it stops me getting to sleep and then wakes me at least once during the night. Surfing the web I've come across so many people with this same problem & the general consensus seems to be that the pills the Doc wants me to take once I've given birth are the only thing that will stop it...... but it's getting to that point which is proving tough because nothing I do at the moment seems to calm it down, it's probably the worst it's ever been.

So combine that with Harry and I'm probably getting around 4 or 5 hours per night which is just NOT ENOUGH. And to top it off today I've woken up with a headache, sinus pain, and feeling stuffy and head cold-ish.... and there is a really nasty bug going around so arghhh, that's just what I need, NOT!

On a positive note, I sold something via Amazon (the 'buy used' section) and got all the money back that I paid for it! I am now going to list all my unwanted DVD's ... maybe some books too. The only negative side of it is going to the post office (I hate the Post Office!) but it might be worth it for a few bucks.

Doctory things

I had an OB appointment yesterday - just a checkup. All is fine, heard the baby's heart beat, and have gained an horrific 8lb since my last visit at Christmas! I expressed this horror to the OB but she actually said that as I hadn't gained anything in the first 13 weeks she would be worried if I hadn't gained any now, and that 8lb was perfect...... so she's not worried. But I do feel enormous!! I need to stop eating so much crap. I asked her about the 'thick placenta' thing that the Perinatologist had mentioned and she said that in and of itself it is nothing, esp. as all the blood work and everything looks good. Just ignore it. They also took an armful of blood while I was there to do the AFP screening.

Then I had to go back to the custom pharmacy where I got the cream for my itchy arm. Basically it had made my arm 100x worse, drying out the skin and aggravating the itch to the point where I've wanted to chop my arm off over the last few days. I've had to slather the whole arm in Vaseline and Aquaphor to try to get some moisture back into it. I called the Neurologist office and they sent another prescription over to the Pharmacy so I had to go and pick it up. The pharmacist was interested in what he'd made for me and told me that he'd changed the base cream and that this new one would be better. The new one has Diclofenac, Dextromethorpan, and something else. It's bright yellow and thick goo. I put it on last night and my arm itched worse so it's not looking promising :(

Potty Training

Argh, I don't like it.

9am, Harry wakes up, introduce him to potty. Hates potty.
9.05am, Harry decides he likes potty. Sits on potty.
10.30am. Harry still on potty. Will not get up.
10.35am Harry wee's a little in potty. Becomes very upset.
10.40am Harry refuses to go near potty. Wees on floor.
11.30am. I have now cleaned up 7 wees from the floor. Each accompanied by a MUMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY distressed cry. Still refuses to go near potty.
11.45am. Sit Harry on potty and put TV on. This seems to work.
12.00. Make Harry a snack which he eats while on potty.
12.20pm Take Harry to bed for nap. Discover large wee in potty!
3.30pm. Wake Harry from nap - put fresh nappy on because we are going out.
3.35pm. Harry distressed because he has wee'd in his nappy!
(BREAK FROM POTTY TRAINING TO PLAY TILL 6.30)
6.30pm Tell Harry to show Daddy how he can wee in his potty. Remove Nappy.
6.31pm. Harry sits on potty, will not get up ("no wee, no wee!")
7.10pm. Harry does a wee... is VERY proud of himself! Gets many cheers. Gets up, does big dance!.

I think that was a fairly successful first day!

Back to 'Normal'

That is, with H waking twice last night......... once at 1.30am and again at 5.30am. Screaming. We have introduced a new routine though...... G goes in to him, gives him a hug, offers him a drink of water, then leaves & closes the door behind him. Heartbreaking. Last night H was all 'packed' ready to come to our room... when G got there he had his two favourite teddys in arm and said 'Mummys bed' and was extremely upset when he was forbidden, but we really have to break this habit and break it now. After leaving him he screamed as loudly as you can imagine a small person screaming but then quickly settled down and went back to sleep... so I'm thinking this might just break him of this horrendous routine of waking, when it's not fun anymore. We also need to stop giving him milk when he does wake - he's 2.5, he doesn't need it. We only offer it because it suits us to have him snuggle down and drink nice warm milk and go back to sleep..... but he (and we) need to learn to do without that. It'll happen. One day.

And today I have decided that it is time to start potty training him . I don't want to. I don't think he's particularly ready for it (although he does inform me at the top of his voice 'IVE POOED', then point to his bum and say "THERE!' every time he goes), but really I have to do it now because everyone says don't do it when a new baby comes along and I don't want to leave it that late anyway. Also I'm hoping to enroll him in Montessori in September which means he'll need to be potty trained so this is the time to do it. Ugh. Nightmare. I am basically going to have to stay in for a week or two to get this done. And spend my life cleaning up poo and wee (another benefit of doing it now is that I'm not *too* big and ungainly to be crawling around on my hands and knees wiping up mess). Joy. Wish me luck.

A whole 8 hours

Last night Harry slept all night WITHOUT WAKING UP. This was I am sure in no small part to do with the large dose of 'Medised' that we gave him at 9.30pm when he woke up demanding books and crying and sounding very throaty and feeling a bit warm. But bliss...... sheer bliss. For the first time in months I did not wake up needing the loo thanks to pregnancy joys, Harry didn't wake me either, and I woke up at 8am after 8 blissful uninterrupted hours of fabulous sleep. I felt bloody brilliant for it today too, full of beans..... and managed to get loads done to our bedroom which is now uncrecognisable and feels like a bedroom rather than somewhere I happen to rest my weary head at night :o)

Seeing as I have lots of energy I am now going to make Sunday Dinner.. hurrah.

16 Weeks

It's flying past, this whole 3rd pregnancy thing. I remember with Dylan I was literally clock watching the whole way through desperate for things to go faster than they were. With Harry it seemed to go just right, not too slow not too fast. This time it's whizzing by! I guess that's the thing with the third child, you're not in a hurry for things to happen as you know there plenty to do to prepare so of course it does!

My weight is bothering me. I think I've gained something like 5lb in 16 weeks which isn't so bad but those 5lb seem to hang very heavily for some reason. I feel like an enormous fat blob.

I think I am beginning to feel the baby move. I've definitely noticed some fluttering in my lower belly which is probably the baby...... not regularly and not often yet but I think we're getting there!

I have also been really tired again the last couple of days, not helped by Harry and his night time pratting about. He will wake up around 4am and refuse to go back to sleep. The only way we can do it is to bring him into our bed. This means I'm usually awake for at least an hour with all the fuss. Last night longer as he wouldn't settle in our bed either & we ended up putting him back in his and closing his door on the screaming. He did go off again but woke again at 6am and refused to go back. Having not gone to bed myself until 1am because G had gone out and I'd spooked myself by watching something scary on the TV, today has been tough going on only 4 hrs sleep!

G has been busy today fixing trim onto the door frames downstairs. He says it's quite difficult precision work but it looks wonderful, the one he's done so far. It makes a huge difference to have a nice door and a nice door frame to having a raggedy old hole with the edges of the drywall showing.

We are also going to fix up our bedroom this weekend.... in that we have been short on storage space thanks to crappy small closets, so we bought a lovely chest of drawers a while ago which I've occupied 90% of. This week I bought another chest identical (in the sale) for G so we can have one chest either side of the window and we're going to ditch the rather useless dresser that we have which doesn't have much in the way of useful storage space and put it downstairs in a guest room. Then we can turn our bed around to face the window, put some nice sheer panels up, and all that remains to be done after that is a coat of paint and some new closet doors. It'll be nice to get the room half decent....... esp as a certain new addition to the family will be sleeping in it for the first while!

Girly Clothes

I went over to see a friend yesterday & came away with an enormous bag full of gorgeous and hardly worn pink baby clothes. Her daughter is 3 months old so this is just the first batch that I'm promised! I will never have to buy a single thing for this baby. I am determined that she will wear pink and nothing but pink for the fisrt while...... I've had blue and nothing but blue for the last 8 years so I fully intend to indulge!

Meanwhile I am full of cold and feel very dehydrated and crap. I am having a lazy day today because I am so tired. I'm not bone tired like I was in the post-Christmas abyss but just naturally and slightly under the weather tired. Yesterday while Harry was sleeping I made myself a cup of tea and sat on the sofa, resting it on my chest for a moment. The next thing I knew was a terrible burning sensation.... I'd fallen fast asleep and spilled the damn tea all over me.. doh... a sure sign I need more rest.

Girly thoughts

Still slightly shell shocked by the news that we are having a GIRL !

If I had believed the old wives tales I would probably have known.... I was never tired with the boys like I have been this time. I also never felt sick and I was revoltingly nauseous for weeks this time! Aside from those major indiciations my skin and hair have been very different this time - both greasy and horrid. My stomach although increasingly difficult to ignore is not as big in the front as before. What else... oh, heartburn, although I have it, is not as bad so far as it previously had been.

I asked the sonographer about the placenta (thanks for the tip!) and she said it is in the front thus will muffle any movement for a while..... so that explains that! I am a little anxious about this 'slightly too thick' diagnosis of the placenta and having done the inevitable googling am more anxious than yesterday, but fingers crossed it will amount to nothing.

The doc wants me to continue taking large amounts of folic acid as he says it will help with growth and palcenta health .... and I have another scan in 4 wks to look forward to!

Oh my!

We went for our ultrasound scan this morning. The baby is doing well and measures in the 69th percentile for growth. The doc is monitoring me carefully as my various issues mean that blood flow might not get to the baby and growth might become an issue. However, at this point it is not! And I have a slightly thick placenta, apparently, which he'll keep an eye on but at this point is not worried.

More importantly than all that, however, is that we found out what the sex of the baby is! I asked the sonographer if it was possible to tell and after she'd done all the measurements she had a look. G and I both peered at the screen to see if we could tell and I think we both thought 'boy' as we looked. Certainly we were both expecting her to announce that we are having a boy....... we have 2 boys and the concept of this not being one was not really one that seemed particularly possible! Anyway, maybe you imagine our complete surprise when she said 'it looks to me like you're having a little

GIRL!!!

I think the first words out of my mouth were "Oh my goodness" and then I couldn't speak any more as I burst into floods of tears..... completely and utterly emotional! I looked at G and he was in tears too!! We were both totally overwhelmed with the news that we are going to have a little daughter..... I don't think either of us expected it (even though I think we both secretly hoped it might be the case) and hearing that... hearing that we're going to be having a little girl....... we were both completely floored with emotion! I was crying so much the sonographer had to stop what she was doing as my belly was shaking... G was a mess... and wow, goodness me, we're having a GIRL!

Despite my previous fears about having a girl (some of which I have still, but only silly ones such as 'how do you change a girls nappy?' and 'do I have to sit and do crafts all day?' 'do I need to buy shares in stripey tights?' 'what on earth goes on in Claires Accessories?' and 'I have no idea how to do girly hairstyles' and all those other natural concerns) I am really really delighted with the news. I thought I wanted another boy...... but I was worried that I'd feel disappointed if I was told I was having a boy..... so I guess I was secretly hoping I would have a girl after all!?!!

Wow. I am really still overwhelmed and in shock!

Of course we have absolutely nothing girly or pink in the house so I guess I have a license to shop too!

The 'weirdest cream'

Yesterday I was able to go and pick up this new cream that had to be specially made for my itchy arm. Took some finding, this specialist pharmacy.... and when I got there and asked for my prescription the pharmacist said 'Ah yes, this is definitely one of the weirdest creams I've seen'!!

The cream contains lots of 'proper' and strange medicines. It is comprised of

a) gabapentin - an anti seizure drug
b) clonidine hydrochloride - a high blood pressure medication
c) ketoprofen - a pain killer
d) amitriptyline - a tricylcic anti depressant

Weird.

But what these all have in common is that aside from their intended use, they all have a positive effect on people with neuropathic pain or itch, and doctors are beginning to prescribe them for people like me who have this unbearable and unending problem. If I were taking an oral version I'd probably be taking a low dose of gabapentin or amitryptiline, but because of the pregnancy I'm going the cream route instead and he's combined all of the possible relief forms into one big 'get lost itch' cream! He said it may not work... so we'll see. The pharmacist suggested applying it 3 x per day for a few days and then 1 x per day thereafter. I put two lots on yesterday and dare I say the arm feels a bit better? I don't want to tempt fate.

Meanwhile, school is closed AGAIN. 4th day in a row. All for less than half a centimeter of snow on the ground, FFS. This country is totally unable to deal with snow! All the locals are complaining that they've never seen weather like this, that it hasn't been this way for 2109831092 years, and it's a signal of impending doom. I can't really see what the fuss is about to be honest, it's a tiny amount of snow, the temperatures are cold yet not too cold (minus 6 overnight, plus 2 during the day), and it's winter...I don't think it's that peculiar, but then I've not grown up here so what do I know!

I do know that they're warning we're going to have the hottest summer on record after this freezing winter. This worries me as the lack of air conditioning in our house is beyond a joke in the summer. We have floor to ceiling windows through the lounge, dining room, and big windows again in the kitchen and our bedroom - all of which face south west and get the sun *all day*. This area typically gets non stop heat from June through to October without stopping, and even with all the blinds closed to stop the sun shining in it reaches about 95 degrees indoors without respite. Also an odd quirk of this area is that the hottest part of the day is around 5.30pm so there is no evening relief from the heat either as any cooling which happens only brings you back down to the low 90's after it's soared into the 100s'. We bought a portable air conditioner (500 bucks, supposedly quite powerful) last year and it made very little, if any, difference because everything is open plan. I'm worried about being pregnant during the heat, and I'm worried about the baby being subjected to that kind of heat when born. I've talked to G and we can't afford it but we're going to get some quotes in from air conditioining people. Thing is, it's going to cost a minimum of $5,000 and most probably something like $8,000 and we just don't have that kind of money lying around. I dunno what we'll do, but we're going to see how competitive the quotes will be. Seeing as it's freezing outside and the middle of winter, prices should be at their lowest right now. Sears are coming round tonight to quote and I have calls into a couple more places. Even if we have to somehow finance this... I think we really have no choice. We took Harry outside into 95 in the shade heat as a newborn in Canada and after only 40 mins he began to overheat in a quite frightning way .... if it's like that in the house there is no escape. Kids die being left in cars in the heat, our house is like an overheated car all summer.

Definitely on the Up

I'm definitely feeling a whole lot better. I've had several days in succession of having more energy, wanting to do things, getting things done, and generally not feeling like I am going to die of exhaustion! Party!

I have also had a very snuffly nose and throat and constant nosebleeds for the last few days but my 'Week 15 Newsletter' from babycenter.com just explained it for me........ apparently "Increased estrogen can cause swelling in the mucous membranes and possibly trigger the production of more mucus. This condition is so common, doctors even have a name for it: "rhinitis of pregnancy." Some pregnant women also suffer nosebleeds as a result of increased blood volume and blood vessel expansion in the nose". These weekly newlsetters are usually full of milestones that I either reached weeks ago or won't reach for several more weeks so it was good to get some decent info from one for a change!

Right, I am off to tidy up and do some laundry - even being able to do the smallest most tedious tasks is a bit of a blessing after the last few weeks!

The 'Maisie Dobbs' series by Jacqueline Winspear - highly recommended!

ChiroQuacktor

My Chiropractor is turning out to be a bit of a quack. I went to see her because of lower back pain and it is marginally better since I've been going, despite her insistence that I neeeded to see her daily for several weeks and 3x per week now in order to make it wholly better. It isn't wholly better and it varies between reasonably liveable with and very sore on a daily basis. I don't know if I'm convinced she will be able to fix it but 'reasonably liveable with' is an improvement so I'll probably continue to go although attempt to reduce the number of visits if possible.

What I don't like about her is her religious belief in 'Applied Kinesiology'. What this means is nearly every visit she will ask me to sit and raise my arm and hold it straight without letting her push it down. As she does this she touches other parts of my body and if at any point she decides my arm is 'weaker', she diagnoses me with some other illness or problem.

Example: The other day she told me I "definitely, without question" have Gestational Diabetes. I told her my test was negative and she said the test was wrong, there is no question that I have it. I went home and for 48 hours tested my blood sugar religiously on the hour and sure enough, it's not been high or low at any point no matter what I've eaten.

Example 2: She told me she was going to do some Allergy Tests to see if the itch on my arm was an allergic reaction to something (I was already fairly sure that it wasn't because no allergy creams or anti histamine medications make the slightest bit of difference but I was willing to give it a try). Expecting some blood to be taken or prick testing I rolled up my sleeve and was told 'Oh, I'm not going to take blood!'. OKay........ So anyway she gets out a bunch of glass bottles labelled with things like 'Oats' 'Wheat' 'Milk' etc. She gives them to me to hold one by one and while I'm holding them.....yes..... she pushes down my arm. When she gets to Wheat she decides my arm has got weaker and announces that I have a Wheat Allergy. But I don't have any symptoms of a Wheat Allergy, I tell her. 'You DEFINITELY have one, you must immediately give up all Wheat foods, and also Dairy'. I am so dumbfounded that the only response I can think of is to tell her that I don't like Gluten Free foods at which she gets shirty and tells me I obviously don't want to help myself, and that my Wheat Allergy is causing the itch on my arm and a breakout of spots on my face.

I go away somewhat bemused and think this through and really, I do not have a Wheat Allergy. I think I read somewhere that everyone has a slight intolerance to wheat in that it is a bloating food which if you give up will ensure a 5lb weight loss in everyone, but I have no other typical symptoms of a Wheat allergy. The spots on my face easily attribute to early pregnancy hormones - I had them with both boys. The arm itch is not food related, we know that already, it's the nerves in my arm. I also feel very disinclined to start giving up major food groups during pregnancy, if it is even remotely advisable which I somehow doubt. Finally I don't believe that she can diagnose me with a Wheat Allergy by pressing my arm! If I have a wheat allergy I will believe it by having a proper blood test.

I went back yesterday and she announces she has this wonderful gluten free pancake mix for me to try. I tell her no thanks and that I have thought things through and I do not believe that I have a Wheat Allergy. She says YOU HAVE, THERE IS NO QUESTION. I say OK, I appreciate that she believes it but that I have no symptoms, that my spots are almost certainly pregnancy related, that my arm is nerve related, and that I am not very inclined to give up foods during pregnancy. She tries to argue and I tell her look, I really have enough to deal with without introducing this too, and eventually she gives up trying.

The more I go there the less I want to. My friend stopped going because of all this crackpot stuff and I'm feeling that way too..... I need to find one that will concentrate on my back problem and leave it at that.

The other side

Dare I say that I feel as though I might possibly be coming out of the other side of the abyss of exhaustion?

I've had a couple of weeks of taking it really easy, doing very little and have felt that even the smallest of actions has taken it out of me. But the rest seems to have done me some good because I am slowly beginning to feel human. I've done a few more things this week than I've been doing in the last few, and they haven't wiped me out. Hopefully things will continue to improve!

Meanwhile, today I am 15 weeks pregnant. Still not feeling the baby move yet which obviously has me a little paranoid but fingers crossed for the scan on Wednesday that all is well :)

Health Scare

So, the reason for my shitty day earlier in the week .......

I have suffered for around 4 years from an unexplained and unbearable itch on my right arm. It starts about 2 inches below the elbow and goes to about 4 inches above it. It itches 24 x 7 and it is an unbearable prickling burning itch which takes nearly all the willpower I have not to scratch it. If I do scratch it I get approximately 5 seconds of feeling 'ohhhhhhhhh joy' and then I realise that I cannot scratch deep enough to relieve it and it actually becomes worse and worse until my arm is bleeding and I have to force myself to stop by sitting on my left arm to stop it going at the other. The worst thing that can happen is that during the night while asleep I subconciously start to scratch it and the next thing I know I am awake with it burning and itching at it's full horrendous strength and will lie there for a couple of hours before it is bearable enough that I can go back to sleep. Recently it has also started up another patch on my right shoulder, just under my bra strap which obviously aggravates it all day... argh. It is also aggravated by temperature changes (put my arm out of the covers at night? itch like crazy..... wear short sleeves ? Itchtastic) and some fabrics such as anything wool.

I have seen 3 Dermatologists and 3 GP's about this. They all said it was an itch probably caused by 'Neurodermatitis' and gave me various creams. None of the creams helped with the slight exception of the most recent one which is a strong steroid cream. What this steroid cream actually does is reduce the inflammation caused by scratching it.... it doesn't fix the underlying problem but at least during a major scratch attack I can apply this cream and achieve some small relief, the edge being taken off it anyway.

I was never wholly convinced by the 'Neurodermatitis' explanation because I don't exhibit some of the symptoms such as raised changed skin in the area, and because no cream has any effect whatsoever. The docs all said that if I can stop the itch/scratch cycle then it'll go away , but it never does. I can sometimes go 2 months without scratching it but it's still a constant nagging presence. The itch is also somehow deeper than the skin, I never seem to be able to reach the cause of it by scratching.

Anyway, I ran out of the cream, so on Monday I went back to see the Dermatologist that I saw a year ago to get more. I explained that the itch was no better and that there was another patch of it on my shoulder. She hadn't looked at me but she said right, well she no longer believed it was a skin condition and that it was almost certainly some kind of nerve problem. What kind of nerve problem? A pinched nerve most likely. Would I not know I had a pinched nerve in 4 yrs? Umm yes, probably. OK so what would it be then? Well I'm thinking something is compressing on the nerve. Something? What kind of something? Most likely some kind of tumour.

TUMOUR.

My jaw dropped. She then decided to get me out of there as quickly as possible so ushered me to the door telling me that she would be very worried about me and that I should see my doctor ASAP and please let her know the results.

TUMOUR.

I left. I got as far as the car before completely breaking down. I have a tumour. I'm going to die. Gareth was in California and I had never felt so completely alone and scared in my life. I managed to get him on the phone as I drove home, hyperventilating with tears and obviously he was worried sick too. I got home, and simply didn't know what to do with myself. I phoned my friend and through the sobs, told her what was going on. Thankfully she is a great listener and she said ok listen...... American Doctors are sometimes complete twats and will tell you very scary things.... and if she had believed every fatal diagnosis that she had been given she'd be 10 times dead already. She told me that Docs had told her she had breast cancer (blocked milk duct) and all sorts of things..... and at this I began to calm down. How could this Dermatologist, without any examination, presume that I had a tumour?

I then thought back to some x-rays I had taken a year ago.... my neck and spine were obviously tumour free then. I've had the itch for 4 yrs. Didn't add up.

The next day I went to see my Chiropractor and told her. She is a bit of a quack but she immediately ridiculed the idea, saying that she had seen thousands of patients in 20 yrs of practising and that these tumours were incredibly rare, she had maybe seen 4 in her life, and that she had no reason to believe that I had one. I felt better. I made an appointment with a Neurologist.

So this morning I've been to see the Neurologist.... and all is, I think, well. He was quite amazed by this Dermatologists diagnosis...... he said that it is far better to appear stupid and admit to not knowing what is wrong with someone than to send them away with a ridiculous ill informed diagnosis. Quite. He examined me and said he felt there was absolutely no scary underlying thing wrong with me. He thinks that the itch is a form of Neuralgia and that is why the creams on the skin would not work, they're simply not getting to the nerve problem which is causing the itch. He said that what I have is quite easily treated with an oral medication although it was my choice whether to take it during pregnancy...... if I didn't want to he could prepare an ointment which included this neuralgia medicine (rather than being a cortizone/ steroid cream which I've had previously) which would maybe have a little help but maybe not.......... I chose the ointment for now as I've lived with this for 4 yrs I can stick it out for another 5 months until I can take the oral stuff. I felt so much better, I cannot tell you. He said this kind of itch is not uncommon and can be treated! I also discussed my migraines with him and again after the pregnancy, he is going to prescribe a preventative medicine for me, so I will go back and see him. He was so reassuring and inspired confidence .. I feel 100% better.

I'm so cross with that Dermatologist - I am going to write a letter of complaint to the office....... how could she send me away with that kind of flippant diagnosis, let alone do it to me when I'm pregnant..... I could have had a stress induced miscarriage ffs...... and as it is I've had a really shite few days worrying about this!

If I have gestational diabetes

Sleep

The Exhaustion

When I talk about being exhausted, I don't just mean a bit tired. I mean bone shattering tiredness which is preventing me from functioning. The energy required to get out of bed in the morning is so great that I have to lie down to recover from it. Getting lunch wipes me out. Fetching Dylan from school just about kills me. Today I went to see some friends for a couple of hours (the most I've done in a few days) and when I got home I almost passed out. There has to be something in this....... if related to homocysteine levels or maybe anaemia..... I need to ask the Doc ASAP, because it is just beyond ridiculous, but I don't have an appointment until next week. I dunno if to make one sooner but I guess I'll stick it out....... the weekend is coming and G will be around to help with the kids so I can rest more.

Poor guy had to come home at 3pm yesterday on my account...... and tonight is snowed in at work, would you believe. We had (Canuck readers will appreciate this) approx 1cm of snow today. It bucketed it down for about 3 hours but it was that wet kind of snow that just about settles for a little while then melts quickly.... meaning the roads had a small amount of covering but not enough to make them slippery particularly. Everyone panicked, as they do here, and left work around 3pm..... G didn't and when he came to thinking about doing so at 5pm it wasn't an option because traffic was at a complete gridlock. He decided to wait. Then people who had left at 4pm were returning at 7pm because they hadn't actually got anywhere except to the carpark exit the traffic is so horrendous. He's finally left now (9.30pm) and says that it's still gnarly but he's tired of being there. It took me an hour to get home from our playdate this afternoon which is on a normal day 3 mins from the house. Ridiculous!

The Energizer Bunny

In the last couple of weeks Harry has shown himself to have absolutely unlimited on the go energy. If he's not running up and down the hall of the house he's running somewhere else, he never sits still, he is up at 5.30am, and he never ever stops!! He is also extremely feisty and opinionated, and will NOT be told NO. I think he is going stir crazy and I wish this weather would improve so that I can take him to the park or something, anything, to run some of this energy off him! He's so much more of a 'lad' than Dylan ever was.... my memory isn't brilliant but I don't remember D ever being this feisty and on the go and people always commented how lucky I was to have such a calm and delightful child...whereas H is more similar to other hyperactive young boys that I know.... argh! I hope he calms down before July!

Neighbourhood Watch

Yesterday, for reasons I won't go into just yet, was a really shitty day. Before it got shitty though, I took Dylan to school & had to zig zag my car to get out of the drive (reversing up a steep hill) because my neighbours had abandoned an old car on the street and for the last few weeks have perma-parked it in an inconvenient position meaning it's been tricky for me to get out of the drive, especially if anyone else is parked on the street at the time.

Said car was abandoned a year ago after they bought a new one. She told me at the time that they had to buy a new one because the husbands car was unsafe, so they were going to buy a new minivan and he would use the old minivan (the now dumped car) and they would get rid of his car. Anyway as soon as the new one arrived (which she neurotically cleans with a TOOTHBRUSH every week) they never used the old van again- the husband still uses his original car and the dumped the old van on the street outside another neighbours house.

I commented to G several times that if it was outside my drive like that I'd be really pissed off! Anyway - there it sat for the year..... until the big storm just before Christmas when the house it was parked outside ended up with a tree through their roof. The tree had to be removed by a large crane and when said crane arrived it couldn't get near enough because of the stupid neighbours car. Someone knocked on their door and they came out to move it and needless to say it wouldn't start having been sat there for a year, so they towed it and moved it to it's new location - outside their house / in the direct line of my drive.
These are not the kind of people you can say anything to either... .they're very weird.

Yesterday after a 5.30am start and not in the best of moods, I had enough so I rang the city to see what the law about parking is and was told that you're not allowed to park a car on the street for more than 24 hours without moving it. After I said 'but it's been there a year' they immediately said that they would send the police! A little later in the day I noticed the car had gone, and then later again it was in their drive.

I was pleased (until the husband arrived home and parked his stupid car in that spot !) but then last night the doorbell went and it was the husband with a furious look on his face. My heart sank and I figured he'd realised I'd grassed him up...... but then he started asking about a CD Gareth had borrowed the other day (I might add, a CD which is 5 yrs old that he'd never opened and clearly had no requirement for). G was out and I told him so and he got really aggressive, angry, almost shaking with fury, implied I was lying because G's truck was in the drive, and generally scared the shit out of me. I was convinced he knew I'd grassed him up and was furious with me (although if you are going to illegally dump a car on the street you should expect to have to move it).

When G got home I sent him round there with the CD and G asked him if he was upset because I had thought he seemed so. He vehemently denied it and said he was not at all angry or upset. Hah!

Do you really want all those germs looking up your Vagina?

The above brilliant line was delivered on a pregnancy bbs that I visit during a discussion on the subject of 'who will be present in the delivery room' LOL

This MTHFR thing

Did a spot of reading just now and if my homocysteine levels are raised, due to this MTHFR mutation, it would explain alot of things such as why I'm so exhausted, why I have no energy, why I feel down, why I get headaches, etc. Not just during pregnancy but during 'normal life' too. I really need to quiz my Doctor a little more about this when I see him next.

Meanwhile, Gareth is off to California for the night as he has a 9am meeting there tomorrow and I am home with the boys - which means not only driving Dylan to school in the morning but doing the inevitable 5am nappy change / bed linen change / bottle of milk for Harry that has become something of a routine. What does one do when a toddlers nappy leaks *every night* due to high levels of wee?! I'm wondering about 'Huggies Overnight' nappies......never used them before. Ah well, tomorrow I'm going to be even more exhausted than usual - joy!

14 weeks today

I feel

1. Exhausted
2. Sick
3. Tired
4. Heartburny
5. Knackered
6. Enormous
7. Starting to panic about not getting things done
8. Did I mention I'm really tired?
9. Pissed off with my itchy arm itching constantly.
10. Exhausted

Exhaustion

I'm so exhausted it's unreal. Over Christmas Harry decided to revisit his evening screaming-rather-than-sleeping sessions and although for the last few days he's stopped doing it, he's now taken to waking up around 4am crying and demanding a changed nappy / milk / attention. OF course when this happens I cannot go back to sleep so I've had approx. 4 hours per night for the last few nights and I can barely stand I'm so tired.

Pop!

Somehow, over the last week, my stomach has popped out with a vengeance. No longer can I hold it in or convince myself that I don't look enormously fat. I wish I looked pregnant rather than fat! I also got onto the scales yesterday and horror of horrors I've gained 4lb in the last 2 weeks. I was so proud that I hadn't gained any weight so far and now 4lb in 2 weeks?? 2lb per week? I'm going to need a crane to get me out of the house by the end if I keep up this rate.

Sick of Sick

I am so tired of feeling crap and sick. I had non stop nausea for the first 10 weeks or so and then it seemed to get a little better. My OB told me that some 90% of people stopped suffering it by 13 weeks. Of course mine has now COME BACK at 13 weeks. I feel vile and want to chuck every 5 mins. I am also very thirsty all the time and generally extremely grumpy and pissed off with feeling like this. It is getting me down. Only another 6 months to go. ARGH.

Peace & Quiet

Today Dylan has gone back to school and G has gone back to work and it's blissfully and peacefully quiet Chez Jones. Just Harry and I to hang out and spend some quality time together and it is fabulous!

What was not fabulous, however, was getting up at 7.30am. I haven't done it for a couple of weeks and urgh, it's hard listening to that alarm go off. Especially as it's dark outside. Especially as Harry had had a very wakeful restless night and woken up several times. I did, however, get him up at 7.30am in the hope that he'll go to bed shortly and have a lovely long nap, enabling me to have a lovely long afternoon rest!

The New Addition

The New Addition


Originally uploaded by katybops.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2007 to everyone :)

We are back from a weekend in Portland. We came back last night in the end as we decided we could use a day at home to get things straight before going back to the grindstone of work / school tomorrow! Dylan made us stay up till 12 (even though G & I wanted to go to bed). We had been invited to a party but being as I am generally knackered and feeling crappy we didn't have the energy to go.

Portland was nice - Oregon is different somehow... not to mention tax free shopping! We stayed in a decent hotel downtown in a suite so we were able to put the kiddies to bed and stay up and relax ourselves without worrying about waking them. We spent the time mooching around various shops and seeing the sights and eating well! The kids also got to play in the pool which of course was the highlight of the trip for Dylan.

On the way back there was a spectacular view of the '3 sisters' (volcanos) that dominate the landscape here. Mt Hood, Mt St Helens, and Mt Rainier.... I've only ever seen Rainier so it was stunning to see the others, and all together to boot!

My exhaustion has definitely caught up with me. While the family were here I think I barely slept more than 2 hours at a time for a total of about 4 or 5 hours per night, if that, which is far far far less than I need right now. I've been managing 6-8 hours at a time since they went and last night managed 10 hours! I feel totally drained and wiped out during the day so I'm determined to have a week of doing as little as possible this week to try to get some strength back.

Anyway - off to take down the Christmas decorations and get the house back in some semblance of post christmas order - it's a right tip!